Scars Are Beautiful
by SilverWolfLove
Summary: Meet Austyn Hollington, a fourteen year old cutter who has a massive crush on Seth. But when her parents die, she is forced to move away from La Push to Colorado. What happens when she moves back after five years away?
1. The Diary

_". . . Her hand closes on smooth metal. Her fingers test the sharpness of the edge. Perfect. It's a fresh blade. The girls' voices rustle in her head. Their clamoring pushes out all rational thought. She rolls up her sleeve. The bite of the blade kills the nise. It wipes out the memory of those staring faces. Willow loks at her arms, at the life springing from her. Tiny pinpricks of red that blossom into giant pennies" -Julia Hoban_

"Hey, Austyn." I looked up from my book—Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen—straight into the cold brown eyes of four girls named Allison Green, Elizabeth Jones, Hannah Bolton and Bailey Banks, otherwise known as "The Girls Who Drove Me Into Self-Mutilation."

I closed my book, grabbed my binder and tried to get up to leave, but Bailey, the bigger and stronger girl of the four, stopped me with such force that I dropped what I was carrying. My binder flew open, knocking my diary out and onto the floor. To my horror, the page my binder was open to was the page proclaiming my love for Seth Clearwater.

Bailey held me down in the chair, while Elizabeth ripped the key to my diary on a chain from around my neck, Allison lifted up my binder to read it, and Hannah picked up my diary. Elizabeth handed Hannah—who was the leader—the key, and it was quickly put in the lock. I kept struggling, but Bailey just held me down harder.

We were in Study Hall, so, naturally, there was no teacher around to see what was going on and put a stop to it. Giggling, Hannah and Allison—who was Hannah's right hand man—started to read my diary. Allison whispered something into Hannah's ear, and Hannah nodded.

Hannah stepped on a chair, then onto the top of my table. "Can I have your attention everyone?" Hannah cried. Immediately, everyone's eyes turned to her. She smiled, and then continued. "Hello, grade nines of La Push Intermediate. As you all know, my name is Hannah Bolton. And I'm sure you all know her—" she pointed to me "—as Austyn Hollington, the self-mutilating frakendork, who know one wants to be friends with, let a lone date. But what if Austyn had a massive crush on someone?" Tears started to prick my eyes. She was going to read y diary out loud. And Seth being just two tables away, sitting with his four best friends—Collin Nobally, Brady Fuller, Tyler Johnson and Ryder McCloy—was only going to add to my embarrassment. Hannah opened my diary. "What if that person went by the name Seth. Skylar. Clearwater." Everyone gasped. My cheeks turned flaming red, as I looked at Seth, who was looking at me with a sympathetic look on his face. "Dear diary, we just got back to school from Christmas break. You should really see how hot Seth looks in his new sweatshirt. It brings out his black hair and sweet chocolate brown eyes. Oh, and don't get me started on his lips. Their just so pink and full and EXTREMLY kissable. I wish I could kiss them all day and night, and then he'd look into my eyes and love me forever. Yours truly, Austyn Hollington-Clearwater XOXO." Everyone in the room was laughing. Seth was just looking annoyed and outraged. I couldn't tell if it was directed at me or at Hannah, but I hoped it was meant for Hannah. Tears were overflowing my eyes by now.

"Dear diary, I don't know if you've noticed this, but I have stalkerish tendencies." A lot of people giggled. My cheeks got redder and redder at every word she said. I tried to make another run for it, but Bailey held me down harder. "For example, I looked up Seth's phone number in the phone book, I know his address, which is 98 Quileute Road. I know his mom's name is Sue Clearwater, her maiden name is Allamakee, and she's forty eight, his dad's name is Harry Clearwater, he had heart and blood pressure problems, and he's forty-nine, his sister's name is Leah Clearwater, she got dumped by Sam Uley a few weeks ago because he wanted to go out with their cousin Emily, she's allergic to shellfish, and is nineteen, and Seth is allergic to Penicillin, he had a hole in his heart when he was born because of his dad's heart problems, he's SUPER popular, plays soccer, basketball and baseball, and he's fourteen. Yours truly, Aus—" In a blink of an eye, Seth had jumped up, ripped the diary from Hannah's hands, closed and locked it, then handed it back to me.

When I struggled this time to get up, Bailey didn't hold me back, mostly because she was too busy laughing, which was what everyone else in the room, except Seth, was doing. I bolted out of the room, out of the school, ran to my house and up the stairs in just ten minutes.

I grabbed a razor blade from the bathroom cabinet, and fell to the floor beside the toilet. I shrugged off my sweater, revealing the puckered, pink, ugly scars of my many previous cuts. With tears running down my red cheeks, I made one long cut from the crook in my elbow, down to my hand, and across the palm. I hissed softly with the pain, but soon stopped, because the pain made my body feel right. Normal.

I watched as the scarlet red liquid flowed from my cut, over my skin and scars, to drip onto the cold tile floor. I cut my arm with the razor blade once more, and then laid my head on the floor, surrounded by all my blood.

**I hope you guys like it! And thanks for reading. I honestly don't think this story is very good, but if you like, you can review, and if you have anything bad to say about it, _I. DON'T. GIVE. A. FLYING. FUCK._ –Cammie **


	2. Wolf In My Yard

_"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment" -Sarah Dessen_

I fell asleep like that, lying on the floor in my own blood. It was only when my eighteen year old sister Dallas knocked on the door that I woke up. Aruptedly, I sat up and wiped my tears away with my arms, which only made more blood smear on my face.

"Austyn, are you alright? You've been in there for—" she paused, and I thought she looked at her watch. "—two hours."

I coughed, and swallowed my tears to choke out, "I'm okay, just one minute."

Dallas sighed. "Okay. But if you're not out in half an hour, I'm coming in after you."

When I heard her trot down the stairs, I stood up and went straight for the shower. My clothes were took off and pooled on the floor, the water was turned onto scalding, and I stepped inside. The scarlet red liquid was washed from my body and onto the porcelain floor of the bathtub, only to float down the drain. I was only in there for five minutes, then I got out. The clothes I originally had on were soaking in blood, which meant I couldn't wear them again.

I grabbed some towels, and started to wash the blood from the floor. By the time I was finished, I had used eight towels and a full bottle of Sunlight dish liquid. I picked the blood soaked pieces of cloth up, walked next door to the laundry room, and threw them all in the washer.

Silently and with my arms held tightly to my sides, I started to walk up the stairs. My eight year old twin brothers Braison and Brayton came running down the stairs, laughing and by the looks of it, playing tag. After hitting the landing, they ran as fast as they could out of the door. I sighed, and continued walking.

First, I passed my parents' (Aaliyah and Cole) room, then my fifteen year old brother Koah's room, Dallas' room, Braison and Brayton's room, and then, finally, I came to my room. I opened the door, and walked in. Ever so slightly, I managed to shut the door, and then walked forward in the room, and sat on the bed. In my mind, I replayed today's activities.

The look on Seth's face when Hannah said "What if that person went by the name Seth. Skylar. Clearwater," the way my heart dropped when Hannah and Allison opened the diary, everything about that day kept running through my mind on an endless track. Swallowing the tears that were threatening to overflow, I grabbed a handful of hair and pulled as hard as I could. That little place of my scalp felt like it was on fire! I choked back a scream of pain. I pulled, and pulled, and pulled, until, finally, my handful of black hair was pulled out of my head, and laid on the bed beside me. I didn't dare to look at it in the mirror.

My scalp still felt like it was on fire, but it wasn't so bad. Not looking at the mirror, I grabbed a pair of pajama pants, a DC t-shirt, polka dotted bra and blue G-string, and then shuffed it all on in a matter of three minutes. I threw the black hair in the garbage can beside my desk, and sat on my window seat with the lights turned off, watching the orange sun go down low in the sky. Different shades of reds, yellows and oranges were painting the La Push sky, until the sun was completely down, and the sky was pitch black with a full moon shining.

Still, I just sat there, listening to the clinker of dishes down stairs, which meant it was around six thirty, and the table was being set, supper almost done. I pushed opened the window, and listened to the sounds of the night and the occasional howl of a wolf, which sounded incredible close to our house.

I heard a knock on my door, and whoever it was tried to open my door, until they realized that it was locked. They knocked again.

"Austyn, supper's ready," said Koah.

"Okay."

He knocked again. "It's ready, like, now."

"Okay."

Koah knocked again, louder this time. "Austyn, its jig's dinner and we're not allowed to eat until you come down."

Well, it just sucks doesn't it, cause I'm not coming down. "Koah, I'm not coming down."

This time, the fifteen year old banged as hard as he could on the door, which made me jump. "Austyn Lacey Morgan Hollington! Get your skinny ass down there to supper _NOW_!"

"No!"

Then, Koah stopped. _Finally,_ I thought. I grabbed a hoodie from the floor and put it on, then flipped up the hood. Someone else knocked on my door.

"Austyn, baby girl, you have to come supper," my dad's sweet voice said.

He knows I can never say no to him. He knocked softly again. I sighed and walked to the door, opening it. Dad was standing there, wearing jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers. My dad is thirty-nine years old, but he acts like he's in his twenties and wears clothes that only twenty year old boys wear. He smiled at me, and slipped his arm around my shoulder. We walked in silence down to the dining room. The smell of chicken, carrots, gravy, potatoes and freshly made chocolate cake went straight up my nose and made my mouth water.

Dad sat at the natural head of the table and I sat between Dallas and mom. Steam billowed out from the food in bowls on the table. The seven of us joined hands, closed our eyes, and Braison started to say grace.

"God, we thank you for gracing us with this delicious food we are about to it. Please keep everyone who eats it safe from harm. Amen."

We all echoed "Amen," before digging in. I only ate half of my potatoes, three little pieces of chicken, one carrot and one piece of cabbage.

I wiped my mouth with my white silk napkin, slid my chair from under the table, and asked, "May I be excused?"

"Yes," dad declared.

Before I was even out of my chair, mom said, "But, Austyn, don't you want any cake?"

"No, thanks, mom."

I tried to act as calm as possible going up the stairs, but when I reached my room, I threw off my hoodie and grabbed another handful of hair on the other side of my head, and pulled as hard as I could. It hurt, but not as bad this time. But it was a good pain, a pain that felt normal to me. It almost made me feel at home, because I've been doing it for so long, ever since I was thirteen. I finally pulled the hair out, and, once again, I threw it into the garbage can.

I scratched the new bald spot, and then sat on my window seat. I heard another wolf howl, but this time, it sounded like the wolf was sad. All of a sudden, a large wolf with sandy blond fur flew out of the woods, and landed on the grass in front of my house. I gasped, and the wolf looked around, almost like it was looking for the source of the gasp. It finally looked up and into my window. It's brown eyes bore into mine. It walked a little closer, and tilted it's head. It's eyes didn't leave mine for even a second. The wolf gave a slight, small bark, and leaped back into the woods.

Seth's POV

I was a wolf! A large, furry, sandy blond wolf! One minute, I was studying for my science homework, and the next, I was exploding out of my skin and running on four paws. PAWS!

_Seth, calm down. Your such a dork,_ mumbled a voice in my head.

Huh? Am I going crazy, or do I have a mental Leah always in my head? Maybe because she has been gone for a week, my brain is having memories of things she would say if she was here.

_Seth, you idiot! I __**am**__ Leah!_ the voice screamed.

_Leah! What are you doing here? Why can I hear you in my head? Where have you been? What am I? _I thought loudly.

This time, a different voice answered me. _Seth, I'm Sam, Sam Uley._ Oh, that scum bag. _Yes, this scum bag. Anyway, you remember the Quileute legends, where it says that we originate from wolves, right?_

_Of course._

_Well, those legends are true, and me, Jared Cameron, Paul Lahote, Embry Call, Jacob Black, Leah and you are all wolf shape-shifters, and are assigned the task of protecting the tribe from vampires, which are the Cullens, who live down in Forks. You are all in my pack, and I am the Alpha Male._

_Wait, what? There are real vampires running around?_ I thought.

Yeah_, real blood sucking vampires running around, and you have to help protect the town from them,_ Sam thought. _By the way, there is this thing we can do called imprinting. It is when a wolf finds his soul mate. You would do anything, be anything for her, and if the product of your imprint is hurt, you want to die. Their your everything._ In Sam's mind, I could actually feel what he's saying.

_Sam, have you imprinted?_ I asked.

He sighed. _Yes. On Emily, your cousin. That's why I had to break up with Leah, and go straight to Emily. I tried to fight the imprint, but it was so difficult._

Leah barked a laugh. _Yeah right, Sam. It couldn't have been that hard to fight a damn imprint! It's only love at first sight, you dick! Besides, you could have at least waited a day before you asked her out!_

Sam just sighed.

Before I realized what was happening, I was launched onto a grassy front yard. From somewhere around me, I heard a gasp.

_Seth! Get out of there! _Sam yelled.

I looked around, until I looked up and locked eyes with a familiar girl. As soon as I caught her eyes, my world changed. It was no longer gravity holding me to the ground, it was here. I felt connected to her. The distance between us was suddenly physically painful. I took a step closer to her, and then I remembered who she was. Austyn Hollington, the girl who's diary was read today at school by Hannah Bolton. I felt suddenly very mad at Hannah, Allison, Bailey and Elizabeth. I started shaking uncontrollably.

_Seth! Get back into the woods! I can see her dad coming to the window!_ Leah yelled.

With one final bark, I jumped back into the woods. I was very confused. _What just happened?_ I thought.

_You just imprinted, Seth,_ Sam thought.


	3. The News

**Oh my God, I am unbelievably sorry about the long wait! My computer broke, and I just got it back a few days ago! But I'm gonna have two long chapters up today, so maybe you can forgive me? **

**P.S. it's really bad in the beginning, but I promise, it gets better as you go further down. You see, I had started this back in February, and it was then that I had writer's block, so, that's all you can do. From, Cameryn**

_"After your death you will be what you were before your birth" -Arthur Schopenhauer_

**Austyn's POV**

I didn't sleep at all that night. Not a wink. I just kept staring at the spot where the wolf appeared, mesmerized by that one spot. It may sound weird, but I felt spiritually connected to the wolf. I took off my sweater around one in the morning, because the window was still open, which brought in warm, summer air. It _was_ June, after all.

Around 8:00 am, someone knocked on my door. I managed to ply my eyes away from the grassy area, and pull myself out of my seat. I stretched, yawned, than softly walked over to the door. With a click, it unlocked and with a squeak, the door was opened. Dad was standing there, wearing a black tuxedo, his black hair slicked back. He smiled at me and I forced a smile back.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

I stepped aside and whispered, "Sure."

He stepped inside, and went straight to my bed. I closed the door. He patted the bed next to him, so I sat where his hand previous was. It than occurred to me that I didn't have on my sweater. I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Austyn, what's wrong with you lately?" he asked in his fatherly voice. He sounded generally concerned.

I tried to act like his question meant nothing. But it didn't work. "Um, dad, what are you talking about?"

"Well, you've been slowly pulling away from us, locking yourself in the bathroom for hours and hours, going for long walks in the woods, zoning out when people are talking to you, locking yourself in your room from the time you get home from school until the next morning, starving yourself, seriously Austyn, what's going on?"

Forgetting that I didn't have a sweater on and that my arms were covered in ugly, puckered scars, I uncrossed my arms and put them in my lap. As soon as I realized my mistake, I shuffed them behind my back. But it was too late. Dad had seen.

He looked puzzled. Then, as realization hit him, he looked scared. Dad reached for my arms. I gave up, letting him pull them from behind my back. His eyes scanned the aged, ugly, pink scars. They numbered as many as twenty-eight. Some short and thin, some long and thick, and some short and thick.

Dad sighed and brought me into a hug. My vision started to blur as tears threatened to over flow.

"Baby girl, why do you do this?" he asked as he pulled me away.

"Well, it started when I was ten." I could see tears in my father's eyes. "Some girls named Bailey, Allison, Elizabeth and Hannah bullied me. So, in order to vent all my pain, I just cut myself." I started to cry, and suddenly sobbed loudly.

Dad wrapped me in his arms, and let me cry it out.

A loud knock on my door came. "Dad! Austyn! C'mon! We're gonna be late for school, and it's gonna be your fault this time, not mine!" yelled Koah from the other side.

I pulled away from dad as he yelled, "Alright, alright, Koah. We're coming." Dad looked at me and wiped my tears. "Austyn, you don't have to go to school today, okay? You just sit here, and mom and I well deal with this. No child of mine is going to be bullied into cutting herself." He ruffled my hair, which made me giggle and then smile. It was the first time I smiled and actually meant it in a long time. "Ah, that's the smile I love." He hugged me once more, and then got up, walked to the door, gave me a smile, and then closed it behind him.

I sighed with relief, and lay back on my bed. That was the only moment I have truly felt content in about four years. I closed my eyes, and drifted into sleep.

Yelping. That was the first thing I heard when I woke up. The yelping of an animal in agony. It didn't sound in pain, just wanting. Like it needed something. I jumped off the bed, and plowed down stairs. I shoveled on my UGG boots, pulled on my Nomis hoodie, and, still wearing my pajamas, shot out the door.

I ran from my house, across the lawn, jumped the little river, and continued out into the unforgiving depths of the forest. Green. Nothing but green surrounded me. Green and brown trees, green grass, just so much green. The woods felt completely alive and crowded, yet I was totally alone.

More yelping. More bone chilling, heart wrenching yelping. I followed the source of the yelping for about twenty minutes. I was out in the middle of the woods by the time I felt that I was closer to the source of it.

I continued to walk straight. All of a sudden, I heard the steady beat of paws padding the ground, running to me. I swiftly turned around, and around, and around again, trying to catch a glimpse of the owner of the noise. It was getting closer and closer, until I could hear the panting of the animal. Then, the forest was quiet again. A loud ripping sound and growling frightened me, making me jump.

From somewhere behind me, I heard human footsteps. The snap of a tree branch, the crunch of leaves, the steady breathing, my rapid heart beating.

"Austyn?" said a familiar voice.

I turned around. Standing there, was Seth, my long time crush. He was wearing yellow, blue and black plaid shorts, and his normal mid-back length black hair was cropped. His skin had gotten tanner, and I should see an intricate black tattoo on his left shoulder. But the thing that caught my eye the most was his muscles! Seth had a six pack and his arm had gotten at least an inch thicker with muscle.

I shoke myself out of my daze and turned on my game face. "Oh, hey Seth."

Seth smiled, moving a little closer to me. "Are you feeling better? You ran out so fast yesterday that I didn't get a chance to say anything."

Heat rose into my cheeks as I remember yesterday. I was sure that my face was as red as an apple. "Oh, yeah. Perfectly fine." An awkward silence came over us. "Um, thanks Seth, for, er, getting my diary back from, ah, Allison and Hannah."

"Yeah, no prob. I never really liked those girls. I mean, their hot, but their all just too mean for me." He took another step closer. "Know what I mean?"

I nodded, my face still red. I rocked back on my heels and clucked my tongue. Seth was soon standing just five inches away from me. I stopped, and stood still, my breathing stopping. My eyes trailed up his body, and looked into his eyes. He was towering about foot and a half over me, his body twice as large as mine. His handsome face lit up with a dazzling smile.

"Do you want to go somewhere with me?" he questioned.

"Okay," I choked out.

Seth grabbed my hand, and towed me farther into the forest. His hand was scalding hot! Not like the warm of a fever, but the warm of placing your hands under a faucet and letting scorching hot water cover your hands to the point of pain. And I should know because I scald myself every time I get in the bath. His eyes kept scanning the surrounding woods, almost like he was waiting for something to come. We were still walking by the time the morning sun was replaced with the afternoon heat.

**Seth's POV**

My eyes kept searching the woods, making sure that no vampires were around to hurt my precious angel. Sam said that vampires roam the forests of Washington freely and daily, and that they are so fast that you won't be able to see them. And if Austyn got bitten she would turn into one of them, or die. Either one seemed like hell to me.

I kept a tight grip on Austyn, and continued forward.

"Seth, I'm tired. Can we stop for a minute?" asked the precious girl behind me.

I stopped, and turned back to her, smiling. "Of course."

My eyes searched the ground, until I found a fallen down tree. I sat down on it first, and then wiped off a little space so that Austyn could sit down. I tugged lightly on her arm and she plopped down as light as a feather.

The more I thought about what those girls did to Austyn, the madder I got. I mean, they stole her diary, and read her secrets out in front of pretty much our entire grade! And Bailey is always tripping her in the halls, Elizabeth is always calling Austyn a bitch, a slut and a whore, and Allison and Hannah are always spreading nasty rumors about my precious angel. Collin – my best friend since we were four – told me the other day that Brady told him that Hannah said that Austyn had herpies. And another time, I picked up a flyer on the floor of the school hallway with a picture of Austyn on it and under it, they had written "STAY CLEAR! HAS BEEN CONFIRMED TO HAVE HEADLICE!" I never figured out that it was actually from Allison and Hannah, but who else would do something like that?

I started to shake violently. My vision was clouded with red. How dare someone do something like that to a girl as precious as Austyn? I felt a cold hand on my arm, and a soothing voice.

"Seth? Are you okay?"

As soon as she finished her sentence, I was perfectly fine again. No shaking. No anger. No red vision. Just perfect. A smile spread across my face and I looked back to Austyn.

"Yeah." I scooted a little closer to my imprint. "So, are you rested up enough to continue?"

Austyn sighed and stood up. It was only then that I realized how truly thin she was. Back in September, I thought that she was kind of chubby. But now she was mostly skin and bones, nothing left to her. And she looked paler that any Quileute I had ever seen. Her skin also had a grayish tint to it, almost like bruising but worst. I wondered what was going on with her.

She must have seen, because she looked away from me, hugged her arms closer to herself, and continued on her way. Wasting no time, I caught up to her and grabbed her freezing cold hand. She smiled. Her teeth were the purest colour of pearly white I had ever seen. Not even a little bit yellow from eating candy.

I just couldn't believe how beautiful she was! I just wanted to bring her into me and never let go again. But, for now, it would suffice to just be close to her, so I walked a little closer to her. Austyn's cheeks got red and she fidgeted nervously. I stopped her and turned her to face me.

"You don't have to be embarrassed around me, Austyn," I declared with a slight smile.

Austyn smiled tensely and scratched the back of her neck with her free hand. "O-okay. Thanks, I g-guess."

I smiled happily and continued walking. After five minutes of silent walking, we came to a cliff. The surface was pretty plan, with only light green grass for about eight meters, and then the cliff cut off onto the ocean. The tree line was eight meters back and then circled around, which meant that there was 8x10 meters of open space. Just before the grass cuts off, there's a thick, long log.

"C'mon," I declared softly, gesturing to the log. Austyn didn't hesitate to follow me.

When we sat down, Austyn accidentally sat on my hand. She caught my eyes, and I saw that her face was blood red and tears were threatening to overflow. When she sat back down, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me. I moved a piece of her beautiful from her face.

"It's okay. It doesn't matter," I declared, lightly kissing her head. Her breathing quickened and I could hear her heart beating rapidly.

I chuckled softly. It was kind of cute that she was getting like this around me.

**Austyn's POV**

When Seth kissed my head, I felt a little lightheaded. And when he chuckled, I felt a little embarrassed by my reaction. I mean, he already knows I like him, and that just makes everything worse.

Seth closed his eyes and started to lean down towards me.

Oh shit!

What do I do? What do I do? What in the hell do I do? Kiss him? Look away? Get up? Cough and then say something about the wilderness? Any of those things well make this whole situation awkward! But if I let him kiss me, he might become my boyfriend, and that's what I've been hoping and praying for for, like, ten years.

He touched his lips gently to mine in a feather light kiss. Seth was about to pull away, but then I grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled him against my, crushing my lips against his.

_If we're gonna make this awkward after, might as well have now,_ I thought.

His lips were just so . . . addicting! His scent, oh God, his scent was intoxicating! It was like . . . a fresh summer's breeze (cliché, I know, but it's true), with a touch of pine trees, and some AXE body spray. Oh Lord. I could stay there all day!

I locked my hands together behind his head and toyed with the little hairs at the nap of his neck. Seth wrapped his strong arms tightly around my waist and held on for dear life. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip, begging silently for entry. I gladly obliged, and he stuck his tongue inside my mouth. Seth started to rub my back lovingly with one hand, running the other one over my stomach.

All of a sudden, my sweater pocket started to vibrate and sing.

_"So just give it one more try to a lullaby_

_And turn this up on the radio_

_If you can hear me now_

_I'm reaching out_

_To let you know that you're not alone."_

Sighing, I untangled myself from Seth and tug into my pocket.

_"So just closer your eyes_

_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_

_Your very own—"_

I put it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Austyn, it's bad. Real bad," said the voice of my sister on the other line.

I plugged my other ear with my finger and turned away from Seth, my heartbeat starting to quicken. "Wait are you talking about, Dallas? What's really bad?"

"I'm on my way to the house to pick you up. We're both going to the hospital."

"What are you talking about? Who's at the hospital for what?"

"Austyn, I'll explain it to you when we get there. I was just told that they were in a serious car accident on the intersection between, Ocean Front Drive, Main Street, La Push Road and Quileute Street," she explained. "Just, meet me outside in five minutes."

"Yeah, okay. See ya. Bye."

"Bye." She hung up.

I put my phone back in my pocket, and turned to Seth. He was looking at me curiously.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Dallas," I said half-heartedly.

"Your sister?" I nodded. "What'd she want?"

My brain was finally starting to catch up to what was happening. I got up and headed for the trees, Seth tight on my heels. "Someone in my family was in a serious car accident and Dallas is coming to get me to go to the hospital."

Wait, why is Dallas coming to get me and not Mom and Dad?

No, no, no, no, no, it can't be them! No! It just can't! They weren't even supposed to be driving in there! They don't even drive through town! They usually drive down First Beach Road, turn off down Sycamore Avenue, then down the hill, and onto the highway, straight to Port Angeles! Unless . . . Braison, Brayton and Koah got a ride, then they'd have to go down Main Street to get to Ocean Front Drive, where the twins' school is, then down Washington Drive, up onto La Push Road, then down Main Street to the High School where Koah goes to school!

No! I refuse to believe that my brothers and my parents were in a serious car accident! No! I'm not! Koah is safely in school, probably in English class, earning a detention for back talking to the teacher, Braison and Brayton are in Math, enjoying their little silent conversations with their friends while the teacher talks about addition, Mom is putting on her doctor's coat at the Forks Hospital, and Dad is sitting in his office in his Port Angeles Law Firm with his feet on his desk, reading a book. Maybe my aunt Alannis Call was in the serious accident, on her way to her shift at the General Store, and Dallas and I are supposed to be there for her sixteen year old son Embry Call, who happens to be our first cousin. Yeah, that's it. Aunt Alannis only has a few broken bones, maybe a concussion, some scratches and bruises, but is going to be alright. Yeah. That's exactly what happened.

Seth and I broke through the trees, straight onto my backyard. Dallas' red Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 was waiting in the driveway, Dallas sitting in its driver's seat, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

I started to run up the yard, Seth following me.

When we got to the coble stone path that led from the back door to the driveway, I turned back to Seth.

"Seth, I have to go to the hospital. So, I guess you'll have to go home," I said.

He nodded. "Yeah okay." He turned to go back into the woods, then turned back to face me again. "Forks General?"

"Yeah, I think," I answered. "I mean, it's the closest hospital in thirty miles."

For a moment, Seth and I just stared at each other. Then, he pulled me into a gentle hug. I buried my head in his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his middle. I pulled away and smiled at him, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek before walking to Dallas' car, hauling open the door and climbing in.

I watched Seth through the front window, and waved when he waved at me. Dallas backed out of the driveway and started to drive out of La Push.

"So, what were you doing with Seth Clearwater?" she asked.

I smiled and looked out my window, running my finger over my lips. "I don't know, really. I heard a yelping coming from the forest and decided to check it out. I heard something running towards me, and then Seth just . . . appeared there. And . . . he, er . . . kind of . . . kissed me. On that cliff over looking Deep Cove."

Dallas playful hit my shoulder. "No way, Austie! Wow, my little sister, getting her first kiss with her long time crush, Seth Clearwater."

"Yeah . . ." I replied dreamily. "Wait, what? How did you know that I had a crush on Seth?"

Dallas shook her head. "You're not very good at hiding stuff, my dear."

"Yeah, I know _that_, but how did you find out about my crush on Seth?"

Dallas smiled. "About four or five years back, I was cleaning away the living room, when I found a little blue, spiral-bound notebook with the name Austyn printed in fancy writing on the cover." I smiled knowingly. "Well, I picked it up. And me being me, I got curious and decided to look inside. I opened it, and the first page I came to had Seth's name written in hearts all over it. The next page said 'I love Seth Clearwater' all over it. And you don't have to be a scholar to figure out that you have a crush on Mr. Clearwater."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I never really figured out how to hide things."

**Seth's POV**

_Seth, don't even try it! _yelled the voice of my Alpha in my head.

I continued to run full speed towards Forks General. _I have to. She's my imprint, and a member of her family was hurt in a car accident. She's going to be upset!_ I thought. _I have to be there to comfort her. _

For the rest of the way to Forks, I tuned my pack brothers out. I was just lucky that Sam didn't use the Alpha Command on me.

Once I got to Forks General, I kept myself hidden in the forest behind the hospital, watching the parking lot for any signs of Austyn and Dallas.

**Austyn's POV**

The rest of the way to Forks was silent. When we were turning into Forks General, I asked Dallas who was in the hospital, all the while dreading the answer. She just sighed and bit her lip, but didn't say anything.

We got a parking spot close to the door, got out of the car, put three dollars into the machine, and heading into the hospital. With Dallas leading, we walked to the elevator, went up two floors, and walked out. Before we walked to the nurse's station, Dallas pulled me aside and looked straight into my eyes, while tears were swimming in her's.

"Austyn, the people who are in the hospital are . . . –" her voice started to shake badly. "—mom, dad, Braison, Brayton and Koah."

My world came crashing down around me. I felt too many things all at one time. I didn't know one person as small as me could possibly feel that many feelings all at one time. But I guess it is, because I did.

All the way to the nurse's station, my legs were wobbling, threatening to give out and drop me to the floor. I tried to stop shaking, oh god, did I ever. But I just couldn't. No matter how much I tried, I still continued to shake.

I didn't even hear Dallas ask where Aaliyah, Cole, Braison, Brayton and Koah Hollington were. Nor did I hear the nurse's answer. But I thought I heard the words "surgery" and "hall."

Dallas gently tugged on my arm, and led me down the hall to the IC.

We sat down for a while, until I just couldn't stand sitting anymore, so I got up and headed for the window in the waiting room that looks out over the forest. I leaned against the window pain, and looked at the forest. Then I saw it.

The same sandy blond wolf I saw in my front yard last night.

It was looking at me, its tongue hanging out in a funny grin. I giggled. The wolf replaced its grin with a normal smile, and then sat pretty. **(A/N you know, when you say "sit pretty" and a dog sits pretty? Just do it to your dog, if you have one, and see what the wolf looked like.) **I giggled again. I gave a little wave to the wolf, and then returned to my seat beside Dallas.

I felt a little better after seeing the wolf there, which represented one of the last times I saw Koah.

_10 Hours Later . . . _

I was still sitting in the same seat, my hands on my knees, tapping my feet against the tile floor nervously. Dr. Smith had come out here a couple hours ago and told us that Koah had made it through surgery all right and was going to be okay, but we were still waiting on news about the twins and our parents.

I went back to the window every hour, just to see if the wolf was still there, and he always was, ready to cheer me up. Sometimes with doing some tricks outside, and others giving me that funny sideways grin of his.

"Dallas, Austyn."

My eyes shot right up and I saw Dr. Smith standing there with Nurse Wells. My sister and I got up at exactly the same time and walked to them.

"Braison has made it out of surgery perfectly fine," Dr. Smith announced. I let out a breath of relief that I hadn't noticed I was holding. Dr. Smith's face turned sympathetic. Uh-oh. Oh no, please no. NO! Please no! "But, Brayton wasn't so lucky. And neither were Aaliyah or Cole. Their injuries were just too extreme and numbered too many."

I imploded. Right there, right then.

I fell to the floor, hugged my knees to my chest, and sobbed loudly. Sobbed for me. Sobbed for Dallas. Sobbed for Braison, who was Brayton's other half. Sobbed for Koah. Sobbed for our family. Sobbed for everything.

I felt too arms wrap around me and pull me tight. Warm, salty tears spilled down my face, onto my shirt. And you know what? I honestly didn't care. I didn't care that everyone was looking at us. I didn't care that Dallas was hugging me, crying and sobbing as well. I didn't care about anything at that moment. All I cared about was that my parents and my younger brother had died.

"No!" I screamed, kicking my legs. "No! No!" I continued to scream over and over again. "Their not dead! Your lying! Their still alive, so go and fix them! You're lying!"

Dallas' grip on me tightened, and she pulled my head onto her neck. I hugged her back tightly, and cried, cried until I got a headache, cried until I felt tired, cried until I thought I couldn't anymore.

**Did you like it? I hope you did. Review, don't review, it doesn't really matter. As soon as I'm done this chapter, I'm going to write chapter 4, then put it up by the end of the day. I promise. And I always keep my promises. Have a good day. –Cammie **


	4. The Big Move

**Don't own Twilight, blah, blah, blah. I only own the Hollingtons, and their family. **

_"The town was paper, but the memories were not" -John Green_

**Austyn's POV**

A week later (when Koah and Braison were discharged from the hospital), we had a funeral for mom, dad and Brayton at the Anglican Church on Old Church Road in La Push. Almost the entire population of La Push came, from everyone to the Blacks and the Clearwaters, to the Camerons and the Lahotes, to the Smiths and the Noballys.

I felt kind of . . . not there the entire time. It was almost like an out of body experience. I was there physically, just not mentally. Like I was floating over the crowd, gliding through the air, twisting and twirling.

When it was time for me to give my speech, I couldn't feel my body. I was moving, but it was automatic.

I placed my paper on the podium, dried my tears, and read. After saying, "Hello, everyone," I can't remember anything. It was like I was just reading it, not listening to what I was saying. I zoned out, until the last sentence was said. "No body well every forget my little brother Braison, and my loving parents, Aaliyah and Cole. Thank you, and have a nice day." I didn't even shed a tear. But I figured the reason for this was because I had cried myself dry over the past week.

I sat back down in my seat (on the left of Dallas and the right of Koah.)

After the service was done, we all walked out into the small graveyard beside the church. About a quarter of our large group couldn't fit inside the graveyard, so they stood outside the white picket fence. The sixteen pallbearers (Braison's: Uncle Dylan, Uncle Cade, Cousin Quentin and Aunt Akeelah. Dad's: uncle Thayer, uncle Kendall, cousin Camira, uncle Sander, cousin Jonah and aunt LaKayla. Mom's: uncle Caleb, cousin Lysandra, aunt Alannis, cousin Embry, uncle Darius and cousin ALaura) laid the three bodies on the casket-lowering devices, and then stepped back.

Dallas, Koah, Brayton and I walked up to Braison's coffin, and laid a red rose on the lid. Than moved to mom's, and put another rose, and did the same for dad's, before walking back to our original places. I glanced over at Brayton to make sure that he was still alright, and saw him staring at his twin brother's coffin, his little eight year-old face emotionless. My heart ached for him, losing his twin brother when he himself had had just as bad injuries, but yet Brayton survived and Braison didn't.

Our aunts, uncles and cousins also had roses to put on the coffins, except their's were purple. Grandma and Grandpa Hollington, and Grandma and Grandpa Call also placed white roses on the coffins. Our parents' closest friends (which included Billy Black and Harry Clearwater, Dad's fishing buddies, Sue Clearwater, one of mom's best friends, Jennifer Lahote, mom's other best friend, Tori and Stephen Connweller, Teehana Cauldwell, Jose Smith, Jerome Karaka, and Stephanie Cameron) also put pink roses on their coffins. Braison's closest friends (including Mason Connweller, youngest son of Tori and Stephen, Lucas Merino, Drew Hernandez, Jazlynne Powell, who has a massive crush on both of the twins, and River McKinney, the twins' best friend) did this, as well, with blue roses.

The priest started to speak. "Let us commend Braison Caelan Dalton Hollington to the mercy of God." The priest picked up a handful of dirt, and started to spread it on Braison's coffin, saying, "We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life," then moved onto mom's coffin. He said the exact same thing, except replacing Braison Caelan Dalton Hollington with Aaliyah Marline Hollington and the his with her, before moving onto dad's body, replacing the name with Coleman—his real name—Hutchings Hollington.

After the funeral was over and everybody was heading to the church for a meal in honour of mom, dad and Brayton, and the pallbearers were burying their coffins, I started to finally come back down to earth.

I realized how truly warm it was, how bright the sun was shining, how beautiful and alluring the forest looked. I noticed everything about everything in the graveyard, the names on the tombstones and how faded they were, the roses and little statues on grave sites, the wooden bench placed in the upper right corner of the fence with a golden plaque on it, and even the amount of paint that was peeling off of the fence.

All of a sudden, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I was suffocating.

With one last glance at the coffins, which were now in the ground, half covered by soul, I ran as fast as I possibly could out of there, and into the only place that I have always truly loved: the forest. I took off my black flats, placed my black cardigan on the ground beside them, slung my hair up in a scrunchy that was in the pocket of my black jeans, and took off running.

Sure, the rocks and pine needles under my feet hurt like something fierce, but I honestly didn't care. The only thing that was on my mind was that I was suffocating, and I needed air badly.

So I ran faster.

Faster.

Faster.

And faster until I could breathe again. Than I finally slowed down to a steady walk, breathing heavily. Very suddenly, I felt a jolt of heavy emotion, and I plopped down heavily on the ground, backed myself against a tree trunk, curled myself up in a ball, and sobbed.

Sobbed.

And sobbed until my head hurt.

Something nudged my leg. And when I didn't look up, it continued to prod at my leg.

Sniffling, I looked up.

Sitting there, in front of me, was the sandy blond wolf, staring at me through sweet brown eyes. Smiling, I put my hand out for the wolf to sniff. He did, and then inched towards me. Sniffling again, I started to scratch the crown of his head and behind his ears.

"How are you, buddy?" I asked. He wined a little. "I'll take that as a good." He nodded his great head beneath my hand. "I liked your little show at the hospital by the way. It was very amusing, kept my spirits high, cheered me up a bit." He stuck out his tongue and licked the side of my face. Laughing, I started to rub it off with the back of my hand. "Ew! Doggy drool!" I leaned down and kissed his head tenderly. "But my favourite trick was the grin." He preformed my favourite trick, and I giggled. "That's the one!" I laughed, and he, too, barked out a laugh. I started to rub behind his ears again. "We should name you, buddy." I stopped what I was doing and looked into his big brown eyes that reminded me so much of Seth. If I blocked out the face, I could be looking into Seth's eyes right now. "You know what, buddy? Your eyes remind me of my crush, so I'm gonna name you Seth." The wolf jumped up and started running around in circles, with the famous grin on his face. I laughed loudly, watching him. "I guess you like that name?" He stopped, sat down again, and nodded his head. "Yeah, I do too. If I ever have a boy, I want to name him that. Obviously, I won't be having a kid with Seth Clearwater, but if I ever do find someone who can over-look my ugliness, see past my scars, and get to my old self, and we marry, I'm gonna name the kid Seth." He gently nudged my hand, whining. I started to affectionately rub his head. "What's wrong, Seth? Did I say something?" He didn't react. He just picked his head up, and turned around so that his back was facing me, then crouched down low. "You want me to get on your back?" He nodded his head, looking straight ahead, gritting his teeth. "Well, alright, then."

**Seth's POV**

Sam was using the Alpha Command on me. Yeah, he stooped that low. Just when my imprint needed me the most, Sam goes and commands me to leave for patrol.

Austyn climbed onto my back and held onto my neck. Surprisingly, she didn't really feel tense. She felt almost at ease. I stood up and, giving her a second to get used to the new height, I started to run full speed towards her house. Sam was still ordering me around, but I paid him no attention. All I did was think of my imprint, and how I needed to get her away from here incase the vampires came along.

The feeling of having my imprint on my back was exhilarating. I couldn't describe it. If having Austyn on my back felt like this, I couldn't wait to have sex with her.

After about ten or eleven minutes running, I finally came to the opening to go into her backyard. Chancing a sighting of me, I ran onto her lawn and squat down again.

**Austyn's POV**

I slipped off 'Seth's' **(A/N when it's wolf Seth, I'll have 'Seth', okay?) **back, and started to laugh.

He gave me a confused look.

I leaned down and gently kissed his head, before backing away and waving. "Goodbye, Seth. Thanks for the ride. It was the most fun I've had in . . ." I thought about it for a second while I shook my head. "At least five years."

I smiled, and then headed towards the house.

Once I got inside, I ran straight up to the bathroom. I leaned against the basin, looking at myself in the mirror. Tears started to flow freely from my eyes, and I felt dead inside. So, in order to cope with it, I grabbed another razor blade and started to cut my arms again.

One cut, two cut, three cut, four cut, five cut . . .

And the blood just kept flowing down my arms, landing either on the floor or on my outfit. With shaking hands, I dropped the blade, and just watched the blood flow from all the cuts. It was mesmerizing. The bleeding stopped far too soon, so I was forced to get up again. After cleaning the floor and taking off my clothes, putting them in the washer, (leaving me in only my bra and underwear) I walked into my room, straight to the full body mirror on the back on my door.

I just stood there, in front of the mirror, looking at my fat body.

I started to check myself out. Yep, just as I thought. Fat. I turned sideways and put my hands on my back and my stomach, seeing how wide I was. I was at the very least 45 inches. My face? Oh, lord, my face! It was so chubby, with a double chin. My legs had so much fat on them that they looked like sausages. And I was so ugly that it was kind of unbelievable. When I saw my ugliness, I started to cry, falling down to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest, and rocking back and forth, sobbing.

_3 Hours Later . . . _

After about an hour and a half, I had put on my clothes and headed down stairs to the living room, slipping in 29 Jump Street (a movie mom had bought from a website) and sat down on the couch to watch it.

About half way through the movie, Dallas, Koah, Braison and aunt LaKayla came barging through the door, arguing.

"I'll not leaving La Push! Forget about it!" yelled Koah, angrier than I had ever seen him.

"Koah, I and uncle Dalton are your godparents, so we decide what to do with you, and we have decided that you are to move to Great Mountain Falls with us," said aunt LaKayla in a soft and gentle voice.

"No! I'm not leaving Washington, okay? I don't care if you guys are my godparents, there's no way in hell I am going to Colorado!" Koah yelled louder than before. "You know what? Fuck this, I'm going upstairs!" With that, my older brother stomped up the stairs like a little five year old, went into his room and slammed the door.

I jumped a little when he did.

"Aunt LaKayla?" I questioned.

She turned to me. "Yes, Austyn?" she said in a tired voice.

"Do we really have to move with you to Great Mountain Falls?"

Aunt LaKayla came over and sat next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder, pulling the hair off of my shoulder and to my back. "Yeah, Austie. I'm really sorry."

I nodded. "Yeah, okay. I mean, hey. It could be fun."

She smiled and kissed my head. "That's the spirit! At least one Hollington is being positive! By the way, we're leaving first thing tomorrow morning, so you should go pack." And just like that, she got up and headed towards Koah's room.

Sighing, I got up and followed her up the stairs, all the way to my room at the end of the hall.

Once I was done packing up all my things (which took up more than four large suitcases and three large carry-on bags, I turned in for the night and fell into a dreamless sleep.

I was awoken early by the sound of a yelling match.

"No! No! No! A million times no! I'm not going to live with you and uncle Dalton! Okay? Forget about it!"

"Koah, honey, I'm sorry. You are still a minor, which means that I have control of you." I was admiring aunt LaKayla for keeping her cool, even though Koah was refusing to go with her and yelling, which she doesn't like her kids doing.

Groaning, I got up out of bed and drunkenly waddled downstairs, heading straight for the kitchen for a glass of water. After pouring myself a glass, I turned to watch the match. For the first time, I noticed Dallas and Braison sitting at the kitchen table, commentating on the pair.

"And Koah still refuses to go with aunt LaKayla to Great Mountain Falls. What do you think about this situation, Braison?" said Dallas in a fake low voice.

"Well, Dallas, I think that Koah should just agree to go with aunt LaKayla to Colorado. It would make this morning a lot easier," said Braison.

"Hmmm, yes it sure would, wouldn't it? I seem to remember myself and Braison offering to tie Koah to the top of aunt LaKayla's car and get him to Colorado by force."

I laughed softly.

Aunt LaKayla threw her arms into the air. "Okay, Koah. If you come with us to Colorado, I'll buy you a laptop," bribed aunt LaKayla.

"Oh, auntie's bringing out the secret weapon," announced Braison.

"Yeah, she's finally resorted to bribing our idiot brother into coming by choice to Colorado. Let's see what he says." Dallas gestured over to Koah.

Koah crossed his arms across his chest, putting on his best poker face. "Okay, I'll make a deal with you, aunt LaKayla. If I go willingly to Colorado with you, I get a laptop, a new phone, and an allowance of fifty bucks every . . . second Friday."

You had to hand it to the boy. He really knew how to make a deal.

Aunt LaKayla thought about it for a minute, biting her lip. "Alright, fine. Deal?" She put her hand out for him to shake it.

He did.

"And if you break the deal, I get a first class ticket back to La Push."

"Yeah, okay." They broke apart.

Dallas and Braison started to clap. "And aunt LaKayla agrees to the deal!"

Braison hugged Dallas enthusiastically. "Yay! We're finally ready to go to Colorado!"

Aunt LaKayla turned to me. "You ready, girlie?"

I smiled. I was getting really good at hiding my feelings around other people. "Yeah." I put my cup in the sink and went to the porch.

"We'll be back for the bags, boxes and furniture later, alright, kiddies?" said aunt LaKayla as were getting into her red Honda Fit.

Unenthusiastic "yeah"s and "okay"s could be heard through the dreary La Push morning air.

We all get settled in for the long ride ahead of us, Dallas in the front seat, me and Koah on the outside seats in the backseat, and Braison in the middle. As aunt LaKayla pulled out of the driveway, I took one last look at the house that I had loved so much, and had lived in my entire life. Leaving it was like . . . leaving a life time friend behind, considering that house was the closest thing that I ever came to a house, because I didn't have any in school.

We drove all the way out of La Push, driving on the outskirts so that we wouldn't have to see the crash site where a half of our family had died. I watched the trees go by with a new found perspective. I knew that I probably wasn't going to see them again, and it made me sad.

I was never going to see Seth again, or the wolf that I called 'Seth.'

I wasn't going to get go to First Beach anymore.

I was never going to run in the forest again.

All my memories that I had in La Push would always be with me, I knew that. They would burrow inside my heart, and stick like glue. And I would make sure that only the good ones stayed, while the bad ones—the ones of Bailey, Hannah, Allison and Elizabeth—would be erased and stored somewhere I would never look, somewhere in the gallows of my mind.

The very last sight of La Push I saw was the deep, dark forest, dripping with the morning dew of last night's rain.

**-Cameryn**

**P.S. the next chapter well be Seth getting the news that Austyn is moved away from La Push, the next one well be three years later where Seth is still upset and screwed up about Austyn's departure, and the one after that well be five years later, where Austyn is 19 and so is Seth, which would be after the events of Breaking Dawn. **

**P.P.S. I'll change the rating from T to M, just to be safe**


	5. She's Gone

_"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" -Kahil Gibran_

**Seth's POV**

After I was finished the 5:00 pm to 12:00pm patrol, I went straight over to Emily's to grab something to eat before heading over to Austyn's to see if she'd like to go for a walk with me.

I walked straight into her door, to find nine pairs of eyes staring at me sympathetically.

I raised one eyebrow. "What?"

Emily, after wiping her hands on a dishcloth, came over and pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back awkwardly.

"Seriously, guys," I asked as she pulled away. "What's wrong?"

My five pack brothers, their imprints and my sister exchanged looks, as if they were wondering what to do. I rocked back and forth from flat foot to heel, to flat foot again, waiting for someone to answer. Finally, Sam did.

"Seth, did you see the Hollington house lately?"

"No, not since yesterday. Why?" I was really starting to get worried. What if the house burned down and Austyn was trapped inside it and died? My heart beat started to race and my palms started to get sweaty.

Silently, Leah got up from her chair at the kitchen table, crossed the room, and put her arm around me.

"Seth, Austyn and her family moved away," Sam said in a gentle voice.

I wasn't sure I heard him right. "Sh-She moved . . . away?" I managed to stutter out.

Sam nodded. "Yeah." He shook his head in a sad way. "I'm sorry."

My heart beat began to beat a thousand times faster. My lungs felt constricted, so I had to breathe much quicker. My bones suddenly turned to liquid, and it took a great effort to keep me standing. If Leah wasn't there, I would have fell down to the floor on my butt. My stomach did a weird flip, and my heart split into a million little pieces.

"Your lying!" I yelled furiously, wrenching out of my sister's grip. "She's not gone! She's still here!"

Sam sighed. "Seth, you know that longing feeling in your heart? It settles in when you and your imprint are apart. The further apart you are and for a longer time, the more it starts to hurt and irritate. That's how you know that Austyn is gone."

"No! She's still here!" I ran out of the house, straight to the road.

"Seth! Come back!" yelled Leah.

I pretended that I didn't hear her. I just continued running as fast as I possibly could towards Austyn's house. Sure, I got weird looks from joggers, bystanders and people in cars, but honestly, I didn't care. All I cared about was my precious angel and getting to her house to see her, because she couldn't be gone. She couldn't be! It was impossible!

My heart dropped down as far as possible when I saw the 'For Sale' sign on the front yard of her house. I dropped down to my knees, and started to cry.

My precious angel, my imprint, my Austyn, was gone. And I had no idea where she was.

**I'm really getting into the feel of this story, so I'm just gonna continue to write for the entire day, and the weekend. The reason I'm not in school right now is because I have a fever **

**-Cammie**


	6. Three Years Later

_"It has been said that we need just three things in life: something to do, something to look forward to and someone to love" -Unknown_

**Seth's POV**

_Three Years Later . . . _

When Bella got pregnant, and Jake broke apart from Sam's pack, I did too. And Leah, as well. I put Austyn out of my mind as best as possible for the Black Pack, but the pain of her departure was always there, just under the surface.

After that fiasco, I went home, and back to school, with nothing to distract me from Austyn.

I have barely left the house in over three years old. My usual routine is wake up, drag myself to school, zone out in all my classes, phase and run around the forest during lunchtime, go back to classes, zone out again, run home (not passing the Hollington house, or what it's now known as, the Jones house; it was bought about two years ago by Jason and Annabel Jones, and their kids Madison, Jamie and Tyler), go to my room, and cry for the rest of the night, only stopping to eat my supper.

The ache in my heart that Sam told me about was beginning to get unbearable. It felt like every minute of minute day there was someone jabbing a stake into my heart, then pouring lemon juice into it. I didn't want to stop crying. Stopping crying meant that I had forgotten Austyn, or I had let her go. I would never forget her, nor would I ever let her go.

I had asked around La Push, but nobody knew where Austyn and her family moved to. Not even her aunt Alannis and her cousin Embry knew where they were. All they knew were that she went with one of her godparents. Alannis Call told me that she was either with LaKayla and Dalton McLaughlin in Great Mountain Falls, Colorado, Dylan and Makenna Hollington in St. John's, Newfoundland, or Akeelah and Munroe Bursey in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I reasoned that they probably wouldn't go to another country to Newfoundland, so it was between Colorado and New Mexico. But I would check just to make sure that Austyn wasn't in Newfoundland.

It took me about eight months to find all the information, and three months to devise the plan. If Austyn wasn't back by the time I was twenty, I would put the plan into action.

* * * * * Two Years Later . . .

The sunshine shone down on me in my spot on the cliff overlooking deep cove. This was the place that I had first kissed Austyn five years ago. She was so beautiful, with the afternoon sun shining down on her skin, her hair slung careless over her shoulders, her eyes half closed, shielding them from the harsh rays of the sun.

I couldn't get the feel of her lips off my mouth, and frankly, I didn't want to. It was one of the memories that I hang on to for moments like this, when I'm feeling really bad and the ache in my heart feels like it's reaching it's peak, until it dies down a little. Normally, I just think of her ride on my back, her kissing me, naming my wolf-self 'Seth,' little things like that, and it gets me through it.

"Seth!" yelled a voice from the woods. "Seth! Seth!"

I groaned and sat up, leaning on my elbow. "What, Embry?"

Embry emerged from the forest, pulling leaves out of his hair. "I have some good news, bro."

I lay back down, closing my eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin. "Yeah? And what does that happen to be?"

Embry smiled and sat down beside me, Indian style. "Are you ready for the news?"

"Yes, Embry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Embry, I am really not in the mood. Tell me, or leave," I said, irritated.

Embry's smile widened. "You know your imprint?"

My eyes shot open, and I sat up straight, looking at him suspiciously. "Yeah."

"Well, we found out exactly where she is," he said.

I smiled widely, showing lots of teeth. "Where, man? Where?"

"Colorado, with aunt LaKayla and uncle Dalton."

I jumped up and pulled him up with me. "Well, c'mon! Don't just sit there, we gotta go!" I started pulling him towards the forest.

Embry stopped, and I was forced to turn and look at him. He was still smiling. "That won't be necessary."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, getting angry. "And why's that?"

"Because she's moving back to La Push. To live with mom and me." When he finished, I just about fainted with the excitement.

**I hope you like it. The next chapter well just be explaining what Austyn, Dallas, Koah and Braison have been up to for the past five years, and well end off when their pulling into the Calls' driveway. **

**-Cammie**


	7. Back Home Again

_"Home is where the heart is" -Unknown_

**Austyn's POV**

About a year after I had went to Great Mountain Falls, aunt LaKayla had found out about my Anorexia, Bulimia and my harming myself. She cried for a day or two, then sent me in for treatment to Positive Change in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I had to stay in Positive Change for eight months, and visit a therapist every day. I had to gain back 56 lbs to get back to the weight I was before (124 lbs), so I had a big and healthy breakfast, smaller lunch but just as healthy, and quite a large supper, not as healthy but had a healthy dessert. In between those meals, I was forced to eat at least six snacks, and the attendants would be watching me to make sure that I did have those snacks.

But for the first month or two, when I would go to bed, I would go to bathroom and just throw all the food up. I continued that cycle until an attendant heard me throwing up in the bathroom. She came barging in, pulled me up, and brought me to her supervisor. He said that someone was to stand outside the door whenever I was in the bathroom, and if I should make myself throw up again, I would be put on a strict bathroom schedule and someone would watch me every hour of everyday.

I sighed and agreed to the conditions.

After eight months in the treatment, I gained about 34 lbs, so now, instead of 70 lbs, I was 104 lbs. And the urge to harm myself was going away. Slowly, but surely. When I got out of Positive Change, I was moved back to Great Mountain Falls, and I switched therapists. For a month after I got back from Positive Change, I would still cut myself, but I no longer pulled my hair out, or scalded myself. Instead of about ten cuts, I only did one or two, until the urge was completely gone. Washed away like blood on the floor.

For five months after the urge was gone, aunt LaKayla still got me to go back to the therapist once a week, just to make sure that everything inside my head was okay. It was. Sure, I still felt the urge to cut myself every now and then, but it didn't come as often as it used to. I mean, harming yourself is an addiction that is hard to get rid of, and when I see some of my scars start to close up and heal, I just want to slide a razor blade or a knife through them and open them up again.

And when I eat, I have to take it one bite out a time, telling myself to stay strong and eat it, that I can't go on starving myself because I'm beautiful just the way I am. When I'm done eating my meal or my snack, I just have to sit down in my bedroom, and just keep willing myself not to throw up, forcing myself to keep the food down. But sometimes I feel like I'm weak, so I give into the temptation to regurgitate the food, and just run into the bathroom, put my fingers in the back of my throat, and give up.

Aunt LaKayla decided that it was time for me to have a fresh start.

We threw out all my old furniture, all my old clothes, my laptop, cell phone, jewelry, everything that reminded me of La Push. She even went as far as burning all my childhood pictures in a bonfire in the mountains. We went to the Salon; got my hair dyed so that it was black and pure blond scene hair, layered and it now reached my mid-back. She bought me a whole new wardrobe; including summer, winter, fall and spring clothes, a new Mac Book Air, an iPhone5 **(A/N I know it's coming out in June, but I just put it in here because I wanted to)**, a new locket, a new ring, new bedspreads, a new bed and mattress, new desk, new computer chair, new everything. The only thing she kept the same from my old life was my name, Austyn Lacey Morgan Hollington.

I wanted to change my look some more, so Dallas suggested for me to get something pierced. Aunt LaKayla agreed with her. So, I ended up getting my belly button and nose pierced. But before we returned home, I had a tattoo of my name vertically on my wrist, a guardian angel on my shoulder blade, and the word beautiful on my ankle written in perfect cursive writing.

When I got my license, uncle Dalton bought me a white Audi R8 V10 Spyder. During the summer, I would put on my short shorts, tank top and big Gucci sunglasses, crank the radio, and drive it around town, thinking I was so cool. It was actually pretty funny.  
>A week after I got my tattoos and my piercings, I had my first heart arrhythmia.<p>

I was just sitting down on the back porch, hanging my feet down, staring out at the lake, the cool breeze blowing through my hair, when I could no longer feel any blood in my fingers. I started to move them, trying to get the circulation back. I got up to go inside the house to tell aunt LaKayla. Half way there, I blacked out.

The next thing I can remember is being in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines. Aunt LaKayla then told me that I had had a heart arrhythmia, and it was caused by my Anorexia. But she also said that I had Angina, a chest pain because there is lack of blood in the heart. According to the doctor, this is also because of my Anorexia.

When all my family left, I cried myself to sleep that night.

For my heart arrhythmias, I was told to take 1600 mg of Amiodarone a day. And for my Angina, I was told to take two tablets of Nitroglycerin a day, one tablet of Propranolol every seven hours, and one tablet of Nifedipine every seven hours. Dr. Ramirez told me that as long as I took my medicine, I could live a healthy life, though she couldn't say how long or short my life was going to be because of my Angina and my heart arrhythmia.

In my sophomore year of high school, I gained two new friends. Yep. My first friends! Their identical twin sisters Loghan and Keeghan Montgomery. They had just moved to Great Mountain Falls from Eureka, California. They were really skinny, dirty blond hair that reached their shoulder blades, Artic blue eyes, and they always wore short shorts, flats and tanks tops, even in the winter. Loghan, Keeghan and I became friends straight away. We all like the same things, have similar backgrounds (their parents died in a house fire when they were seven), they have an annoying older brother named Casey and an equally annoying younger brother named Dustin, and they, too, have been bullied in school.

We started to hang out at the movies and go swimming, stuff like that, and before long, we were best friends. I never told them about my health conditions, because I didn't want them to worry about me, saying things like "Austyn, don't forget to take your medicine" or "you better stop pushing yourself so hard, Austie. Your heart arrhythmia might act up again." You see, I appsalutly hated people worrying about me.

My siblings have changed drastically, as well.

Koah grew his hair out, so it looked almost identical to Justin Bieber's, he started wearing his pants a little too low, wearing mostly hoodies, sweaters and converse. Aunt LaKayla also through out all his old things and replaced them with new things. But he was the most popular guy in school again in Colorado. After he graduated, he let aunt LaKayla and uncle Dalton pay for him to go to Washington State to become a Prospector. He is now 20 years old.

Dallas cut her hair so that it was to her shoulder blades, she died it bleach blond, got hot pink and aquamarine peekaboos, and two orange streaks. She joined a gym, and got fitter and stronger. She got some kind of surgery on her eyes to change her eye colour from brown to sea-green, got a tattoo of a rose on her hip and another one of her name on her lower back, got a new wardrobe and new furniture, got her ears pierced three up, her nose, belly button and tongue pierced, and she started to zone out more and more. She, like Koah, let aunt LaKayla and uncle Dalton pay for her to study at Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla, California to become a Marine Biologist. We talked to her through texts and phone calls, but she went to her friend's house during the summer. Last year, she finished with her Bachelor's Degree in Oceanography, and went on to work in a lab in Tampa, Florida. We haven't seen her since. The last thing I heard about her was that she was dating a boy named Tristan Baker. Dallas is now 23 years old.

Braison was the least changed of us. Well, physically changed, that is. Mentally, he's changed a lot. He is no longer carefree and funny, but serious and withdrawn. His temper took a turn for the worse, as well. Even the smallest things could send him into a rage filled rampage. I barely see him around the house, and when I do, he just walks by me like he didn't even see me. He, also, let his hair grow out, wears only brand name clothes, and hasn't smiled in four years. He has new furniture and clothes as well. He is now 13 years old.

I was currently June. 30th and I had graduated just eight days ago. I was playing on taking a year off and then going to Washington State in the fall of 2013 to study to be a doctor. The reason I was taking a year off was because I really wanted to go see La Push again, after five long years away in Great Mountain Falls. While I was in La Push, I was planning on staying with aunt Alannis and Embry, and just, you know, explore La Push more, go to Forks, shop in Port Angeles, party in Seattle, things like that, until I have to go to Washington State.

I pulled into the driveway, got out of my car, and went into the house. A blast of air hit my face from the air conditioner.

"Sorry," apologized uncle Dalton, who was sitting beside the air conditioner. "I've been trying to fix this piece of crap but it's not working."

I kicked off my flats. "Well, call an electrician."

Uncle Dalton turned a screw with a screwdriver. "No." He turned it again, and again, and again. "'Cause LaKayla thinks that I am a horrible handyman."

I laughed. "But you are a horrible handyman."

He groaned. "You and LaKayla are two of a kind, I swear to God."

I laughed and walked over to the kitchen, pulling open the door and grabbed a bowl of grapes, sitting down at the island on a chair and started to pop them into my mouth, one out a time, chewing them, then swallowing them, telling myself _you've only had a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice today, a few grapes aren't going to make you gain weight. _

My little baby cousin Natara came running down the stairs, her black hair flying out behind her, calling, "Authyn! Authyn!"

I smiled. "I'm in the kitchen, Natara."

She squealed and came running into the kitchen. She ran into my outstretched arms and I picked her up, sitting her down on my knee. Natara giggled and took a grape, placing it on her tongue, and then flicking her tongue into her mouth, swallowing the grape.

"How was your day?" I asked her.

"It wath fun!" she squealed.

I smiled. "Yeah? What was your favourite part?"

"Umm, my pway date wif Aawon!"

"What did you and Aaron do?"

"We, we pwayed in his sandbox, went to the park wif our mommies, and we pwayed with my dollies!" she recalled happily.

I faked being shocked. "Why didn't you invite me? I love playing with dollies!" Natara shrugged. I turned my head to the side, pretending to cry. "You're gonna make me cry, Nat."

She giggled and hugged me, pressing her face to my neck. "Otay, Authyn. I invite you next time."

I wiped my pretend tear, sniffling and looking towards her. "Pinkie swear?"

I offered her my pinkie. She took it and shoke it. "Pinkie swear."

I smiled widely. "Alright! Yay! I get to play with dollies!"

Natara laughed. But her mood took a drastic change as she seemed to remember something. She looked down, her eyes filling up with tears.

I twirled her hair in my fingers. "What's wrong, Natara?"

She looked up at me. "When are you going back to La Push?"

I looked at her sympathetically, remembering the date. "Today." That's why I was out all last night, I went to a beach party at Kaluga Beach with Loghan and Keeghan, just as our last party together before they go away to college in California and I go away to La Push. We got drunk, and, knowing that their guardians were away on business trips and my aunt and uncle would kill me if I came home drunk, one of Keeghan's friends Cody and his girlfriend Emma, who both hadn't been drinking, offered us a ride to the twins' house. I stayed there all night and woke up with a horrible hang over. We fixed that pretty quick using some kind of drink that tasted horrible. We gave each other a final goodbye, all three of us sobbing and crying our eyes out. We promised we would always text and call each other, and go on Skype every Friday night, time to be arranged by texts on Thursday, then I left to go home.

Natara started to cry, jumped down from my knee, and ran up to her room.

"Natara!" I cried after. "Natara! I'm sorry!" She didn't even slow down or show any signs of having acknowledging me. I sighed and got up out of the chair, walking up to my third floor room.

Boxes were piled on top of each other everywhere in my room, labeled things like fiction books and decorations. Bags were sprawled across the floor, leaning against desks, doors and walls, and chairs half taken apart. My bed was stripped of all bedclothes, the walls were bare of posters and pictures, nothing was on the desks, and no mats were on the floor. I sighed, and picked up a big suitcase, and a large shoulder bag, carrying them downstairs to the door, where uncle Dalton was still working on the air conditioner.

I had to do four more trips downstairs before all the bags were down. Seven suitcases and three large bags. There were too many boxes and my car didn't have enough room for them, so uncle Dalton, aunt LaKayla, Braison, Natara and my other baby cousin (who was born seven months ago) Tanner were going to drive down in a week to bring it all to La Push.

I put the last bag down and looked at uncle Dalton. "Uncle Dalton, can you take this out to my car?"

Uncle Dalton sighed, and then wiped his hand on a rag, standing up. "Yeah."

A minute and a half later, all the bags were loaded into my car.

Aunt LaKayla's red Honda Fit drove into the driveway. It turned off, and aunt LaKayla burst through the driver's door, just as Braison burst through the passenger's door, slamming it hard behind him.

"Braison Sebastian Kallebb Hollington! You go and beat a kid up and you expect to get off scot free? Oh, no, mister! You are grounded!" yelled aunt LaKayla.

Braison turned around, fire in his eyes. "I don't freakin' care! I'll do what I like, when I like, how I like!"

Aunt LaKayla grabbed onto Braison's arm. "Actually, you're not grounded. I'll do you one better." What could be worse that getting grounded? "You're going back to La Push with Austyn." What? If Braison did something wrong, why do I get punished? I'm the one who has to drive 24 hours with him and his sucky attitude.

"You can't make me—!" started Braison.

"Braison, go upstairs and get you necessities in a bag and come back down here!"

"You can't—!"

"Braison, I said get your things and come back down here!" she yelled as loud as she could, so loud that our neighbors—the elderly Mr. and Mrs. Swanson—were looking as us.

Grumbling, Braison dragged himself through the door of the house, slamming it as hard as he possibly could.

Aunt LaKayla sighed and walked over to me. "I hope you don't mind."

I smiled. "No, not at all," I lied.

She smiled. "Okay, thanks, Austyn." She sighed again, crossing her arms and staring up at his bedroom window. "I just can't deal with him anymore. He's too rebellious."

I nodded knowingly. "Yeah, I know how you feel. He hasn't been the same since Brayton died. It's almost like Brayton's death has unhinged him."

Aunt LaKayla nodded.

A few minutes later, Braison came out of the door, went to my car, and threw his duffle bag in the backseat, getting in the passenger's seat.

I turned to aunt LaKayla, hugging her. "Goodbye, aunt LaKayla. I'll miss you." I pulled away and she kissed my forehead.

"Goodbye, Austie. I'll miss you more, though." I laughed.

I turned to uncle Dalton, smiling. He picked me up and spun me around, setting me down on my feet and kissing my head. "Goodbye, Austyn." He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I'll miss you more than LaKayla does, by the way." I giggled.

"I know you well, uncle Dalton."

I turned towards the house, looking up at Natara's bedroom window. The curtains fell back into place. "I guess she's not coming down."

Uncle Dalton looked at me sympathetically. "No, I'm sorry, Austyn."

I shrugged, even though I felt deeply hurt. "That's okay, I guess. I'll see her in a year." I turned back to aunt LaKayla. "Give Tanner a big kiss for me, okay?"

She smiled. "Okay, I will."

I smiled, getting into my car, turning the key and starting it up.

Uncle Dalton stepped forwards. "Austyn, as soon as it gets dark I want you to pull into a parking lot or something and sleep, okay? Or, better yet, a motel or hotel. Just, don't drive after dark."

I nodded.

"And call once you get to aunt Alannis'!" called aunt LaKayla

"Alright! Love you guys!"

"Love you too," they chorused.

I pulled out of the driveway, waving one last time to my guardians for the past five years, and started to drive out of Great Mountain Falls, a home I thought I would never miss, but I knew that I would.

We were driving on the highway for about fifteen minutes, when the silence got too awkward for me.

"I know how you feel, Braison."

"You don't know shit," he said, his voice emotionless. He didn't even turn to look at me; he just kept staring out at the side.

"Actually, I do know shit. Because he was my brother too Braison. Not just yours. Every bit of pain you went through, I did too. You lost a younger brother, so did I."

He still didn't look at me when he replied, "He may have been just your brother, but he was my _twin_. My twin brother. My partner in crime. My . . ." His voice broke when he said this part, "best friend."

I glanced at him. "But Brayton wouldn't want you to be like this, Brai. He'd want you to have fun and be happy, not a shadow of who you were five years ago."

He finally turned to look at me, tears swimming in his eyes. "You have no idea what he would have wanted. You didn't know him as well as I did."

"Yeah, I didn't know him as well as you did. But he was still my younger brother, someone I was supposed to protect, but I didn't."

Braison turned back to looking out at the trees passing by. "Whatever. It doesn't even matter. He's gone now, he's never coming back."

"Exactly. He's gone, he's never coming back. So move on. I have." I paused for a minute. "C'mon, Brai. It's been five years."

He didn't reply.

After about two hours of driving, we stopped for dinner. Well, I did. Braison didn't get out of the car. At one o'clock, we were back on the road. At 9:30, it started to get dark, so we pulled into a dingy motel on the highway, and spent the night. After getting a shower and freshening up, we were ready to get back on the road again by 9:00am. After another three hours of driving, we stopped for dinner again. This time, I made sure Braison ate something, because I knew what it was like to be hungry. He begrudgingly ate scrambled eggs, hash browns and two pieces of toast.

Another nine hours later, we were checking into another motel, this one classier. By 10:00 the morning, we were back on the road, and dinner again at 12:00, and back on the road by 1:00.

When I finally saw the sign that said "Welcome to La Push; please obey all tribal laws and customs" my stomach did a weird flip. I saw the trees, the Quillayute River, First Beach, the bump in the road between the exit and entrance of the First Beach parking lot, the street sign that said "Quileute Road," which was the street that I used to live on, the tribal school, the middle school, the high school, and even the accident site.

I drove straight to the other side of La Push, onto Old Sawmill Road, looking for aunt Alannis' house. 23, 25, 27, 29, 31, _33!_ I turned on my blinker (though I'm not sure why—there was no one behind me. I guess it's just reflex from being in a town such as Great Mountain Falls for five years.)

Standing there, in front of my car, were cousin Embry, aunt Alannis, Jared Cameron, Collin Nobally, Brady Fuller, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Leah Clearwater, Paul Lahote, Jacob Black, Quil Ateara, Claire Young, Kim Connweller, Rachel Black, and . . . Seth Clearwater.

**Yeah. The usually: I hope you like it. If you don't, that's okay. Kk, bye-bye!**

**-Cameryn**


	8. Long Time No See

I** am SOOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated since, like, May! But I had to study for Exams from May 15th to June 12th, and I was gone on a little vacation after exams to our cabin so that Brandon and I could calm down, then I still had my friends, a member of my family had to go to the hospital, so I had to be up there a lot, then I had to babysit Allison for, like, a week or two from 7:00 am until 5:00 pm and after that I had to babysit some neighborhood kids from 7:30pm to 2:00am for two weeks, just . . . ugh. I've had a busy time. But my schedule has cleared up, I'm taking it easy, and I've recently broken my leg, so I'll have a lot of time on the computer to do this story.**

_"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own" -Robert A. Heinlein_

**Austyn's POV**

Seth took my breath away. Instead of the cute, gangly fifteen year old boy, he now had about ten times more muscles than before, a very defined body, total Bieber black hair, sexy, and had a kind of casual air about him. He was wearing normal blue jean cut-offs with holes in them, flip flops, and no shirt, showing off his muscles.

Carefully, I got out of my car and took cautious steps up to the group of people. Braison soon followed me, not even looking at the group, just barging right through them, and walking into the door.

Aunt Alannis, with tears in her eyes, ran forwards and hugged me tightly. "Welcome home, sweetie."

I smiled and hugged her back equally as tight. "It's good to _be_ home, aunt Alannis."

We pulled away, and I was passed onto Embry. He picked me up, and spun me around, hugging me extremely tight. I giggled.

"I've missed ya, Emmie."

Embry smiled and placed me gently on the ground, pulling me into a cousinly hug. "I missed you, too, Austie."

As I was about to pull away, Embry said, "No, not on my watch!" and pulled me under his arm, nuggying me.

I laughed and tried to pull his arm away. "Embry! Stop! You're mussing my hair!"

Em just laughed, and continued to do it, until I finally plied myself away from his grip. I reached up and touched my hair, groaning. I started to try to fix it. "I really hate you, Em."

He laughed. "Love you, too, cuz."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." When my hair finally lay flat again, I focused back in on the group, my eyes meeting Seth's. His were filling with tears. I was confused. Why would he be crying? Does he really hate me that much that he doesn't want to see me again?

Wait, wait, wait. Hold the phone. That's the old Austyn talking. The new Austyn would be saying things like "Am I really that sexy it makes his eyes water?"

I smiled widely, and took a few steps closer to Seth. "Hey, Seth. Long time no see."

"We're just gonna . . . go," exclaimed Embry awkwardly. He opened the door and walked inside. The rest of the group followed suit.

Seth, having finally regained his bearings, ran forwards, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me into the air. He buried his head in my neck and just sniffed me, breathing in my scent.

I giggled, my feet dangling in the air. "Nice to see you, too."

Seth set me down, and looked into my eyes, as I looked into his. When he saw that I was smiling, his face lit up with his own 100 watt smile that reached from ear to ear. He still had his arms around my waist, and I was beginning to feel a bit awkward.

"Uh, Seth, can you, er, let me go?" I asked.

Seth shoke his head, hugging me tightly again, burying his face—once again—in my hair. "No." He sighed. "We've been apart for way too long."

All this time, I thought that I had finally gotten rid of my crush on Seth (I mean, he never even think about dating a recovering Anorexic and self-harmer, it's impossible). But as soon as he started to cling to me and say those things, I felt the all too familiar butterfly feeling in my stomach. I started to feel a little jittery again, and it's almost like I went back in time to when I was fourteen, and Seth and I shared our little kiss in the woods. Yeah, I still remembered that. Infact, I remembered every single detail. And when I say everything, I mean everything.

Anyway, I started to get nervous, which leads to me being sweaty, which leads to me being embarrassed. And when I was still a full time cutter, embarrassment meant that I would turn to cutting or scalding. So, that's never good.

Sweat started to form on my face and under my arms (I had left my deodorant in Great Mountain Falls, so my arm pits have been stinking for, like, two or three days. Ewww, right?), and just as I was about to pull away from Seth so that I could go inside and catch up with aunt Alannis and Embry, Seth did something that totally surprised me.

"Oh, screw it!" he announced in frustrations. Seth pulled away, and crashed his lips to mine in a heated, passionate and wanting kiss.

**Seth's POV**

Austyn had changed a lot!

She was no longer the pale, short, skinny, sunken face beauty that I remembered; she had grown up to be an extremely attractive young woman. She had an amazing tan, luscious long blond and black scene hair that was up with a Puff **(A/N you know, like Snooki's puff! She always has her little puff!)**, a lot of make up on (which I didn't get at all, because she was beautiful with or without it, and she really didn't need to wear any make up at all), sexy curves, wide hips, large breasts, but she still looked extremely skinny. She was wearing white jean short shorts, black fuzzy boots, purple tiered tank top, black leather jacket, a beautiful silver locket around her neck, and big silver hoops in her ears. I also noticed that she had her nose pierced with a simple diamond stud.

The Austyn I knew five years ago and the Austyn that was standing in front of me now looked like two completely different people; the old Austyn looked unbelievably unhealthy, but the Austyn standing in front of me today looked . . . incredibly healthy, she was glowing, had almost normal weight, curved cheeks instead of sunken ones and, oh my god, those five years have been good to her. Wow.

I was so absorbed in her that I didn't notice Embry and the rest of the pack and the imprints leaving, I just snapped out of my daze and they weren't there. I ran for Austyn, and hugged her, picking her up off the ground and holding her tightly.

She giggled, and it sounded like music to my ears. "Nice to see you, too." It was just so hard to believe that I was seeing her again! The pain in my chest that I have been feeling for the past five years just disintegrated, and my heart filled with something else: love for my imprint, my Austyn, my angel.

I gently set her down, and when I saw that she was smiling, I smiled as well, but wider than she did. Could you blame me? She was my soul mate, and she had been away from me for almost five years! C'mon, give me a break. I still had my arms wrapped as tightly as possible without hurting her, and I had no intention of letting go every again. I was afraid that if I did let her go that I would wake up in my bed and this was all just a dream and I would start to cry (I've been extremely emotional, okay?)

"Uh, Seth, can you, er, let me go?" my beautiful (and healthy) angel asked.

Was she serious? Me, letting her go again? Fat chance! I shoke my head, hugging Austyn tightly, burying my face in her silky, blackberry smelling hair. "No." I sighed. "We've been apart for way too long."

I continued to gently drink in her scents: vanilla smelling skin, vanilla scented perfume, with some mint and fabric softener thrown in there, topped with the faint smell of sweat. It then occurred to me that she sweating. Why? I asked myself.

All of a sudden, I had this urge to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her again, and have that kiss be exactly like our first kiss was.

I pulled back, said, "Oh, screw it!" and crushed my lips to her's.

Austyn's POV

Seth was kissing me. Again. And I actually really, really liked it. I kissed him back just as forcefully, tangling my fingers in his hair. Seth laid his hands on my waist, rubbing it, then going a little lower until one of his hands were on my butt, and the other was holding my waist tightly, holding me against him as close as he could.

After what felt like hours of a full on make out session that has the intensity to go down in history as the most heated make out session ever to be recorded. Seth lay his forehead on mine, giving me chaste kisses on my lips for the next couple minutes, his arms still around me.

It just recently occurred to me that every since we hugged, he hasn't taken his hands away from my waist).

"Austyn, I know this is a little too soon, but I've loved you for the pass five, and possibly six, years," he started to say breathlessly. I kind of had any idea of where he was going with his sentence, and I couldn't wait to hear him ask it. "But . . . will you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?"

I smiled. "Of course I will, Seth."

Seth smiled widely, and we slipped into another heated make out session, where I ended up with my legs wrapped around his waist, his hands groping my butt, me running my hands over his muscles.

We finally pulled away and I was gently placed on my feet again, both of our foreheads together.

"Do you want to go to dinner with me on Friday?" he asked.

"Where?"

"In Forks, a nice little restaurant called Chez Apollo. It's an extremely fancy Greek place," he explained, drawing circles on the newly exposed skin of my waist.

"Yea—" I stopped and groaned. "But I have nothing to wear! My clothes aren't coming from Colorado until next Tuesday."

Seth shrugged. "You have money, don't you?" I nodded. "Well, go to Port Angeles and buy yourself something to wear. There's, like, a million dress shops in Port Angeles."

I smiled. "Alright, then, Mr. Clearwater. I would be honored to join you to dine at Chez Apollo."

Seth laughed, kissing me again, turning me so that we were headed towards the door. He still had his arms around my waist, his hand in my shorts pocket, the same pocket that held my car keys, a stick of gum and a few dollars.

**You know, the usual remarks: I hope you like it, if you don't, that's okay, you're all entitled to your own opinion; can't please everybody all the time. –Cammie**


	9. My Guardian Angel?

**Sorry for the long wait, but I was writing down where I want this story to go, and came up this really cool/stupid idea of where Braison's story could be going after watching The Lovely Bones and reading the Kissed by an Angel books. You can tell me what you think of the whole idea. But, don't worry, the story is still about recovering from eating disorders, cutting, and bullying, but this is where Braison's story is going, because I think that everyone deserves a happy ending, and I can't see Braison changing unless he has Brayton telling him to.**

_"The wisdom of the ages teaches that each individual, whether believer or not, good or bad, old or young, sick or well, rich or poor, has a personal guardian angel with him or her at every moment of life's journey" -Janice T. Connell_

**Braison's POV**

I was lying on my bed, my hands crossed on my stomach, looking up at the ceiling.

Why did I have to go and punch that kid? I didn't really want to punch him, something just came over me, and I was instantly filled with an indescribably rage. It felt almost supernatural. My arm seemed to be moving on its own accord, and then my fist collided with his face. I wish I could have told aunt LaKayla about that, but she probably would have told me that limbs can't move unless the brain tells it to, which meant that I secretly wanted to punch him.

I sighed and turned towards the wall, looking at the paint. It was a simple baby blue, with my name in black lettering on top of the doorframe. I scoffed at aunt Alannis' stupidity. What, did she think I was five or something?

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I woke up to tongue clicking. Groaning, I rolled over, and screamed in fright.

Sitting there, on my desk chair, was my twin brother Brayton. He looked exactly like me, even had the new prospects: the hair and the clothing choice, consisting of a DC shirt, Firefly shorts, and Nike high tops. I was frozen with two different things: fear and surprise.

"Hey, bro!" exclaimed Brayton, opening his arms in a welcoming gesture, smiling. "How's life been treating ya?"

I snapped out of my trance, and put my head in my hands, messing up my hair. "I've finally gone crazy," I mumbled. "I always knew that this would happen, but I never thought it'd be so soon." I jumped into a sitting position, and started yelling, "Aunt Alannis! Aunt Alannis?"

Brayton jumped up, putting his hand over my mouth, muffling my voice. "Shut up, you idiot! You're not going crazy, alright? I've been sent down here by the big guy upstairs."

A knock on the door, followed by, "Braison? Did you want me?"

Brayton touched my throat where my vocal cords would be, a weird but pleasant feeling passed from him to my skin, then Brayton yelled, "Yeah, I wanted to know when supper was going to be ready?"

"Oh. We're, er, going out to supper in a few hours," she replied.

"Alright, thanks," he replied, lifting his hand off my throat and sitting back down on the chair. "Braison, basically, I'm your guardian angel."

I laughed. "Guardian angel? So where are your wings?"

He laughed with me. "Sorry, I don't have any. Or a halo, either. But I do have a medley of different abilities, such as that little vocal cord transfer." He paused, and seemed to be thinking of something. "Well . . . I . . ." He shook his head, biting his lip in annoyance, sighing. "I'll just start from the beginning. I died, as you know, and was kind of in an in-between world, a place between Heaven and Earth, where all I had to do was think of something and it was there in some shape or form. I was in the in-between because I didn't want to let go of my life on Earth; to let go of you.

"Skipping all the boring parts of me watching your life like a television, then getting to the part where I found out what you were like. Anyway, I was in my own personal in-between, and was flipping through the channels on the TV, going from seeing Austyn's life, to River's, to Koah's, to Jazlynne's, and finally settling on your's. I saw you mouthing off to a teacher, the scene changed to your mark on a Science test which was a 23%, another scene change to you shooing your Great Mountain Falls friends away from the house. The TV flicked off, and then a voice rumbled through me, saying that I needed to save you from yourself.

"The next thing I know, I'm standing beside you as you walk into school, most kids avoiding you. As you went to your first class, I followed you, thinking of ways to fix you. I knew that you always adored La Push and claimed that you would never move away, and I soon found myself thinking, if I can just get him so La Push, I could save him. Supper time that night, Austyn told you all that she would be going back to La Push for a year after graduation. I thought, oh my God, this is my chance to get him home. But I was pretty sure that you wouldn't just ask Austyn to go, which meant that I had to get you punished in some way to get you sent home.

"Any bad thing you did after that was all me," Brayton explained, before I interrupted him.

"The mouthing off, the snaps, the name calling, the cruel pranks, the violence, was all you?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, back to the story. I got you in as much possible trouble as I could get you in. I saw aunt LaKayla was at her wit's end with you, so I brought out the big guns: punching a kid in the face. I knew that you would never do it, so I had to do it myself. I touched your arm—I can do that vocal cord thing with any part of your body—and kind of melted my arm into your's, so both of our arms were basically the same arm. I punched the kid, you got in trouble, got sent to La Push, and here I am."

It took me a moment to process all of this. My dead twin brother is sent from this in-between be talks about, to save me from myself? I mulled it over, and decided that as long as I could see him, hang out with him and talk to him, it would be like the old days, which was a good thing.

"Your not gonna faint or anything? You know, seeing your dead brother could possibly do that to you," he asked cautiously.

I shoke my head, getting up off the bed, and hugging my brother for the first time in five years. Despite the fact that he was dead, he was surprisingly warm and felt just like the living Brayton, whose tangible body was now six feet in the earth down in the La Push Anglican graveyard.

Brayton immediately hugged me back.

"I've missed you, Dumb," I mumbled.

"Ditto, Dumber."

When we were about six, we were obsessed with Alice in Wonderland, so we started calling each other Dumb and Dumber. Stupid and cheesy, I know. But it entertained our little immature minds, and I personally missed calling Brayton that.

**Normal ending notes: hope you like it, if you didn't, that's okay, too. You have your own opinions; can't please everyone all the time and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to. Review, don't review, doesn't really matter. –SilverWolfLove xoxo**

**P.S. all my other stories are on hold, so if your reading another one of my stories, don't expect an update until this one is finished **


	10. Catching Up

**Wasn't really that long a wait, was it? I actually wrote this chapter right after I wrote chapter 9, but after I uploaded that chapter, my internet went sketch again, and wouldn't let me stay on it for more than a minute. Anyway, here it is.**

_"Hapiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city" -George Burns_

**Austyn's POV**

"So, Austyn, how have you and your family been doing the past five years?" asked aunt Alannis, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Pretty good, actually. Went to rehab, been through two therapists, got three tattoos, piercings, you know, normal stuff." I held back my smirk. Everyone in the room turned to gap at me. I laughed. "It's true! Aunt Alannis and Embry know that I was a cutter, Anorexic and Bulimic, which is why I went to rehab. While I was in Positive Change—the rehab facility I attended while in Colorado—I had a therapist, and when I got discharged from Positive Change and shipped back to Great Mountain Falls, I switched therapists." I tilted my body a little, pushing down the sleeve of my shirt, revealing my guardian angel. "This tattoo is to remind me that no matter how bad life is, I have a guardian angel." I turned back around, and showed them my wrist. "I just thought this one would be cool." I slid the chair out from under the table a little, leaned back, and planting my bare foot on the wooden table, showing them my ankle. "And this one here is to always remind me that I'm beautiful, no matter what." I placed my foot back on the ground, and moved in to the table again. "I got my nose and my belly button pierced, as well."

"I notice you changed your hair," noticed aunt Alannis.

I smiled, puffing my hair out a little bit. "You like it?"

Aunt Alannis smiled, nodded. "Yeah, I really do." She took another sip of her coffee. "How are Dallas and Koah?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Haven't seen Koah in two years and haven't seen Dallas in four."

Aunt Alannis nodded. "They go to college?"

"Yeah. Though, if I'm being honest, I'm kind of surprised that Koah got in, considering he doesn't have the sense God gave wood," I joked. Everyone laughed.

"Where do they go?" asked Embry.

"Dallas goes to Scripps Institution of Oceanography in California, and Koah goes to Washington State."

"Oh, just eight hours from here. Maybe we can go visit him one day, eh, Embry?" said aunt Alannis, nudging her son.

Embry shoke his head. "Ma, if Austyn hasn't talked to Koah in two years, what makes you think he wants to talk to us?"

Aunt Alannis looked gobsmacked. "But I'm his favourite aunt! At family dinners he always said to me 'how's my favourite aunt doing today?' Of course he wants to see me!"

Embry laughed. "Mom, remember this is the guy that could charm Osama Bin Laden into letting the Americans kill him."

"He has a point, Alannis," voiced Seth. Aunt Alannis asked everyone to call her Alannis, claiming at she didn't like being formal, and that calling her 'aunt' made her feel too old. But I just couldn't stop calling her 'aunt Alannis.' Calling her just 'Alannis' didn't feel right.

Aunt Alannis sipped her coffee, a sad look on her face. "But . . . I was always the cool aunt! The aunt that let them eat candy and chocolate for breakfast, the aunt that let them have ice cream sundaes and popcorn for supper. I covered for you guys when you stole Thayer's beer and snuck it out during Christmas dinner of '06! I gave him $15 every time we saw each other!" She banged her fist against the table. "Of course I'm his favourite aunt!" She stopped, took a few deep breaths, and smiled. "Whew, lost my cool there for a second."

"Can't lose what you never had," mumbled Embry, eating a cracker buttered with cheese whiz.

"What'd you say to me, Embry?" asked aunt Alannis insidiously.

Embry looked appsalutly terrified. "Nothing," he said through a mouthful of crackers.

Aunt Alannis cracked her fingers. "Really? Cause I thought you said that I wasn't cool."

Embry squealed (quite girlishly) and jumped up, running for the stairs. Aunt Alannis wasted no time in following him, yelling, "You can run, but you can't hide, punk!"

We laughed loudly at my aunt and cousin. They had an extremely weird relationship. But because Aunt Alannis had Embry when she was young (being only fifteen), she had always thought of Embry as more of her younger brother than her son. And that made for some good entertainment.

"Why is she like that?" asked Collin through a laugh.

"She has this serious mental issue about being cool. She thinks that because she's closer to our age then any other of our aunts or uncles and the fact that she's not married, she thinks that she has to be cool," I explained. "Weird, I know."

Ten minutes later, aunt Alannis had come back down, huffing and puffing. But I didn't see Embry. She sat down, put her finger into her coffee, felt the temperature, scowled, and went to brew a new cup.

"Um, Alannis, where's Embry?" inquired Rachel.

Aunt Alannis pressed the button on the coffee machine and came back to sit down in her original chair, still huffing and puffing. "I lost him at the top of the stairs. I turned every room upset down—besides Braison of course, because he's a little grouchy—but I still can't find him." Behind aunt Alannis, prowling down the wooden stairs, I saw my cousin. I tried to look at him, hiding my smirk, as did everyone else. "But don't get me wrong, the next time I see him . . ." Embry silently inched towards the backdoor. He was prowling on his knees, crawling quietly and as fast as his legs and hands could take him. Aunt Alannis got up, and Embry gasped, before slapping his hand over his mouth. Aunt Alannis got a mug from the cup, Embry crossed to the kitchen's island, ducking behind it. Aunt Alannis crossed to the kitchen's island on the opposite side as Embry, grabbing the cream for her coffee. She turned her back to him, Embry crawled to the glass sliding back doors, hiding behind a counter. Aunt Alannis hummed as she poured her coffee, Embry slid the door with his flat palms. Aunt Alannis stirred her coffee, Embry slipped out the door, sliding it closed again. Aunt Alannis turned around, Embry ran out of sight down the little grassy hill towards the woods. Aunt Alannis sat down in her chair again, Embry was out of sight.

Those of us who weren't so absorbed in someone else to notice him *cough* Kim, Jared, Sam, Emily, Rachel, Seth, Quil, and Paul *cough* laughed at the little show. Aunt Alannis smiled, looking at us, trying to find out what the joke was. "What's so funny?" she asked, laughing lightly.

"Nothing, nothing at all," I answered, still laughing. "But, aunt Alannis, what happened to those eyes in the back of your head?"

"Nothing. I saw Embry when he went down the stairs, across the room, out the door, down the hill and into the woods. I just wanted my coffee more than I wanted revenge on him. If I wanted to get him back I could easily burn all of his Jessica Alba and Megan Fox posters." She clapped her hands together. "Where are we going to supper, ladies and gents?"

Aunt Alannis opened the door right beside Braison's. "And this is your room."

I walked in. It was extremely simple, consisting of a twin sized bed with white blankets and two floral pillows on top of the blankets leaning on the headboard, a light pink dresser with a vanity mirror, a crocheted mat on the floor, a wooden desk on the wall with a grey swivel chair, and an old, rustic looking make up table and a stool behind the door. The walls were a simple white. It looked like someone had spent a mentionable amount of time on decorating it, and it really paid off.

I put my purse on the bed, walking around it and pulling out the swivel chair. "I love it, aunt Alannis."

"Thanks. Emily, Kim, Rachel and I decorated it, with the help of Embry, Jacob and Quil, of course," she said. She was about to leave, when she barged the door open again, saying firmly, "And when boys are in this room, keep the doors open!"

"Aunt Alannis!" I yelled, laughing.

Sniggering, she closed the door.

My bags were already strewn across the floor everywhere, each filled with either a piece of clothing or some kind of amusement item.

Man, I really need to find those pajamas, I thought, shifting through the sea of blue, pink and yellow, until I found a blue, white and black plaid bag that I thought I could remember shoving a pair of pajama pants into. . . . My hands came in contact with something fuzzy. I pulled, until it came free and into my line of vision. Blue fuzzy pajama pants. My favourite pair of PJ pants, I might add.

After doing a little happy dance, I changed, and jumped into bed, crawling under the cold covers, pulling myself into a ball and silently screaming to myself. I'M GOING OUT WITH SETH CLEARWATER! I bit my tongue in an act of resistance against the oncoming scream of delight. I rolled my head into my pillow, letting out the scream into the fabric of my pillow. I screamed so loud that I think I cried. All the while I was smiling widely. Yesterday, I never would have thought that Seth would ever even think of becoming my boyfriend. And, now, he is!

Then, I remembered that I had to take my medication. I slipped out of my bed again, opening my purse, taking out a bottle of water and the bottles of Amiodarone, Nitroglycerin, Propranolol, and Nifedipine. I swallowed one pill after the other with the aid of the warm water, before putting them back in my purse and hanging it on my door handle.

I slipped back into the bed, smiling, and fell asleep.

**Hope you guys enjoyed it, and am proud of me that I didn't forget about her heart conditions, because in chapter 8 I forgot about it, and forgot about it until the last part of this chapter. Anyway, review, don't review, doesn't really matter. Lobes ya! –SilverWolfLove**


	11. Visiting Old Friends and Familiar Places

**Hey, readers! I was reading some of my other chapters and noticed that in a few of them I said that Brayton survived and Braison didn't. I do that a lot when I write about twins, so bear with me. But remember: Brayton, dead. Braison, alive. If it says otherwise in this story, I'm sorry. Enjoy.**

_Disclaimer: I don't own any publically recognized characters, because I'm not Stephenie Meyer _

_"A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul who knows the best and worst of us, and loves us in spite of all our faults" -Charles Kingsley_

**Austyn's POV **

"What'd you plan on doing today, Austyn?" asked Embry, who was eating a bowl of Cornflakes beside me at the kitchen table.

I swallowed my cereal, thinking, _come on, chew it. Seth wouldn't have asked you to be his girlfriend if you weren't beautiful._ "Going down to First Beach, I supposed." I took another spoonful, saying the same thing to myself.

"Sounds like fun."

"How about you, Em?" I asked.

Embry got up, putting his dirty dishes in the sink. "Work."

"Work? I didn't know you could get off your lazy ass long enough to work."

Embry laughed. "I actually work down with Sam and the boys. Pretty fun . . . and lots of fresh air." He finished washing his hands, and came to my side, kissing my cheek. "See you later, cuz. And try not to get killed." He walked out the door, laughing loudly.

I smirked at my immature cousin's behaviour. Same old Embry; nothing changed in five years. When I left, he was 17 and immature. Now, he's 22, and still just as immature. You'd think he would have grown up right? Evidently, he didn't.

After putting my empty dishes in the sink, I decided to wash them. I had some time to kill. Might as well do something productive. I ran some warm water, and went on a hunt for dish liquid, finding it in the cupboards under the sink. I squirted some into the water, grabbed an obviously homemade already wet wash cloth from the counter top, and started washing them.

I was done washing, drying and putting them back in their original places, when I heard some thumping on the stairs. I turned to face the culprit. Braison was standing at the landing, staring at me, biting his bottom lip in what look like irritation (then again, he always seems irritated these days). His eyes kept darting to the left towards the living room couch.

"I-I'm going for a walk," he blurted out reluctantly. I nodded, clearly confused at his sudden acknowledgement in my existence. He stayed there for another couple seconds, before striding to the front door in the living room, exiting the house. I felt a sudden chill down my spine and goose bumps erupted on my skin, prompting me to try and rub them away.

Aunt Alannis had gone to work at the local convience store at 5:30, so I was home alone.

For the next ten minutes I ran around the house, finding towels, sun block, Gucci sunglasses, bikini, and other necessities to bring to the beach, fitting them all in my giant woven beach bag and putting on my bikini with a little shawl and flip flops. I hypothesized that I wouldn't be going into the water, so I put on a heavy coat of make up, put M.A.C. concealer on the ugly scars that polluted my arms, and straightened my hair to perfection, pinning my bangs up with bobby pins. I looked into the full length mirror in the hallway upstairs.

And, if I do say so myself, I looked smokin' hot!

Smiling, I continued down the stairs, grabbed my keys, got in my car, and drove the familiar route to First Beach.

Sun rays shone down, warming my skin. I had my glasses on over my closed eyes, so all I could see was pure, ink blackness. Jesse Labelle and Alyssa Reid's Heartbreak Cover-up blasting from my headphones into my ears, sand underneath me with a beach towel guarding my skin from the little specks, the smell of the salt water infiltrating my nose, the taste of my lemonade (Morgan Smith and Haylie Phillips, two nine year old girls that were four and three the last time I saw them, were selling cold glasses of lemonade in the parking lot for a dollar, so I bought one; it was really, really good) that now sat beside me in the sand clinging to the inside of my mouth, parents, kids and teenagers playing around and chilling on the beach, enjoying a rare sunny day in La Push. I wanted to take advantage of it too, because chances are, it'll be pouring rain tomorrow and I'd probably be stuck inside all day, joking around with Embry.

Jesse Labelle's voice rang through the headphones. "It's just another lonely night, they happen all the night, now that you're not around." I started to hum quietly along with him, moving my fingers to the beat. Whenever hearing a song I like, it's unbelievably hard for me to not hum or move apart of my body to the beat, especially when the volume is up as loud as this song was. My eyes opened and my hand reached across the sand until my fingers came in contact with the Styrofoam cup, raising it to my lips and taking a quick sip as the song changed to As Long As You Love Me by Justin Bieber. I started to hum to this song as well, only after placing my cup back in the same imprint on the sand.

**Braison's POV**

"Do you know where he lives?" I asked Brayton as we walked down the deserted road. It had crossed my mind that I should probably not talk to him so loudly, but as soon as it popped into my mind, the thought disappeared just as quick. Who cared if people called me weird or crazy? I was talking to my twin brother again!

"In the same house. I found that out when I was watching him from—" he pointed up to the sky. "Upstairs."

We navigated down the paved road, switching streets a few times, before hesitantly walking up the dirt driveway to the wooden bridge with chipped white paint. The house that occupied the land was a simple house, nothing out of the ordinary for here, not like our's was. Our house was large (too large if you asked me), filled with windows and glass doors, and luxurious, with a three car garage off to the side. In La Push, you have a few small windows, doors with only a little window up top, shudders, a garage for the men's hang out place out back, and your cars stayed in your driveway, not locked with the keys in the ignition.

This house had light blue wooden siding, white shudders, light brown door that had been previously painted the last time I was here, and a black shuddered roof. Briefly, I wondered if the frizz bee Jazlynne had accidentally thrown up there six years was still there.

"Come on, Braison! Don't be such as wuss! Knock on the door, before I punch your face into it!" yelled Brayton.

This surprised. When Brayton was alive, he was always so mellow and a little passive. "Wow. You're a violent guardian angel aren't you?"

Brayton yawned. "You got me up too early this morning." He paused. "You could've had me . . ." he smiled vindictively. "Or mom, fussing over your clothes, the way you act, and saying things like 'hey little man,' and 'Brai-Boo.'" He patted me on the back. "Dude, you got off easy. Now, knock on the friggin' door."

I took a deep breath, calming myself down. My hand seemed to be lifting of it's own accord (not by Brayton this time, because he had his arms crossed on his chest). My fist came in contact with the door, and knocked, once, twice, thrice, before falling back to my side.

Five seconds.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Three seconds, then, "Coming!" yelled a feminine voice. Probably one of his many sisters. He had five: Brinley, Maula (adopted, from India), Santos, Dominique (also adopted, born in France), and Phoenix. Brinley and Maula were eighteen, Santos was sixteen, Dominique was fourteen, and Phoenix was eleven.

Dominique pulled open the door with a smile, until she saw who it was, and then it faded. Not in dislike of me, but in surprised. She was a pretty girl, with long blond hair, bright blue eyes, dimples, fading freckles on her cheeks, fair skin, a normal body size for fourteen years old. Dominique stood out in La Push because of these qualities. "Braison."

Before I could say anything, a male voice behind her yelled, "That can't be Braison!" He paused, before continuing with a, "Can it?" Feet pattering, then a black spiked head appeared over Dominique's left shoulder. "Braison!" he yelled happily, rushing out to give me a dude-hug.

I smiled. Brayton uncrossed his arms and grinned at our reunion. "Long time no see, River."

**Austyn's POV**

I didn't stay at the beach that long; maybe an hour and a half, two hours max. It was really boring, no one to talk to or joke with. I packed up, and headed for my car. On the way there, throwing my cup into the garbage can.

I sat in my car for a few minutes, watching the waves wash the shore and the parents running after stray toddlers on the beach, before starting my car and pulling out of the cramped parking lot.

Trust me, I didn't want to, but my car seemed to drive all around town for a couple hours on its own accord, stopping at the high school and the road to the tussle, places that held a specific memory for me. On autopilot, my car drove to ever setting of every memory I ever had in La Push, except for the ones I had in my house and in the middle of town; even my subconscious couldn't see my house again or the place where my life seemed to fall down around me: the interstate between Ocean Front Drive, Main Street, La Push Road and Quileute Street, better known by my family as "The Crash Site."

The closest I have actually managed to get to those locations is Old Sawmill Road, where I live now, a street just two or three minutes away from my old house. When I had to pass by the interstate yesterday, it killed me. I felt so . . . sad and depressed and just plain wrong. It felt weird passing by the place where my parents and younger brother died, and I never wanted to see it again. This was why I was planning on taking the long way out of La Push tomorrow when I go to Port Angeles to pick up a dress to wear to Forks with Seth on our . . . date. I got butterflies just thinking about.

My little trip ended when I pulled up into the Clearwater house on a winding road called Ephraim Drive (named after a famous chief in Quileute legend). Still on autopilot, I walked up the door and knocked a few times, before stepping back; I happened to know that this door opens out, instead of in, so you have to be careful.

The door opened slowly, until the face of Leah Clearwater came into view. I smiled at her. She scowled.

"Is Seth here?" I asked cheerfully.

"Yeah, because if he wasn't, he would have to actually a life." She laughed a venomous, humorless laugh that made me suddenly frightened. Was that supposed to be a joke? Leah turned her head back into the house and shouting, louder than necessary, "Seth! Get your ass down here, you're wanted!" Laughing the same horrible laugh, she swung the door open all the way until it smacked against the siding, and ventured back into the house, disappearing into the kitchen.

I didn't know what to do, so I just rocked back and forth on the low stone bridge. Leah stepped into the doorway of the kitchen. "You know, Austyn, we won't bite. You can come in," she announced in irritation, rolling her eyes and striding back out of view.

Blushing, I stepped into the house and closed the door behind me. I had never actually seen the inside of Seth's house before – it was nice, though. Lots of family pictures, some sewed decorations, probably by Sue, a simple box television on a TV stand, floral couch, loveseat and a worn out green Lazy Boy, a dark brown coffee table with a vase of flowers and coasters on the top of it, pink walls, old pink carpet, a welcome mat under my feet, coat tree beside me, shoe shelves beside the coat tree, brown stairs that let upstairs, and a door with a golden handle between the TV and the stairs.

Thumping from upstairs, Seth talking before I saw him. "What's sup?" Then I could see him, hiding his body behind the wall on top of the stairs, just his face visible. When I first saw him, he had a simple smile on his face, but when he saw that it was me, his smile got wider and brighter, lighting up his entire face. "Austyn!" He ran down the stairs faster than I thought possible, across the living room, pulled me into his arms, and kissed my fully on the mouth. "Hey," he said breathlessly as he pulled away and unwrapped his arms from my waist.

"Hi, Seth. So, I wanted to know if you wanted to go for a walk with me." I asked.

"Sure!" He answered quickly, pushing me out the door. My foot touched the small stone for a bridge for a millisecond before I touched the ground, Seth close behind me, closing the door with a loud band that sounded in the quiet post-noon air. If I had to guess, I'd say the time was somewhere between three and four o'clock, maybe 4:30. It just had that temperature and feel, with the sun's hot blaze dying down to a light tingle on the skin.

Seth wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his body and placing a small kiss on the crown of my head. "Come on, beautiful."

**I sincerely hope you enjoyed this reading experience. If you didn't, that's perfectly fine. You can tell me you appsalutly loathed every single word I wrote, or you can say you adored it all and would like me to continue. Me? I'm happy with this chapter, more so than any other chapter I've written for this story. Have a nice day, I'll write more soon. Bye! –SilverWolfLove**


	12. Memories

**I don't own Twilight, nor do I own anything publically recognized. BTW, I made up a map of the La Push in this story, and the way I was drawing it (using little snippets of information from the story), it looked like chicken scratch! Seriously! There's black marker everywhere, some white out, arrows pointing this way and that, and . . . oh Lord, its friggin chicken scratch. **

"_Life is an ugly, awful place not to have a best friend" –Sarah Dessen_

**Braison's POV**

"How's life been, Braison?" asked River as we dangled our feet over the Rossland Bridge about fifteen feet above the Pacific River that ran into First Beach and out into the ocean.

I finished picking apart a piece of crab grass, and threw the little pieces in the water. "Not bad, I suppose." It felt kind of weird talking to people, considering I didn't really do it, unless it was to argue or to tell them to get lost.

For the next ten minutes, River asked a bunch of other questions about my time in Colorado and tried to get more than a five word answer. I think the longest answer I gave him was "It's not that different from La Push, really."

Finally, River gave up, and just sat there in silence. Well, it was silent until a little annoying voice popped into my ears. "Do something, you idiot!"

Brayton and I had parted ways between Ephraim Drive and La Push Road, saying that he wanted to go see his grave site. I gave him a faint nod, before continuing on down the little dirt road towards Rossland Bridge with River.

"Ask him how he's been." I was about to open my mouth, when he added threateningly, "And if you give him one more five word answer, so help me God, I'll throw you from this bridge."

Ignoring him, I grabbed another piece of crab grass that was growing between the cracks in the old bridge. "How have you been, River?"

He seemed surprised that I actually asked him a question. "Boring, actually." He nudged me with his hip and smiled. "No you and Brayton to liven up class. It's only been Jazlynne, Drew, Luke, Mason and I, and God only knows they only followed our lead. I managed to make Mason and Luke my substitute Braison and Brayton, but it's not the same, you know?" I nodded, throwing the little pieces of grass into the rushing river.

Brayton scoffed "Mason and Luke? Replace me and you? No way." He ruffled up his floppy hair. "They don't have the good looks."

I grinned his way, nodding slightly.

"Talk to him, dammit!" Brayton yelled, slamming his hand against the bridge. "Reunite with him, Braison! Don't be so effing anti-friggin'-social!"

This little "act of encouragement" (as he called it this morning; Pfff, yeah right. More like act of attempted murder of one's sanity) was really getting on my nerves. "And your sisters?"

"Good, really good. Maula and Brinley got into the same college down in Tennessee. Santos got her learner's permit." He leaned in closer to me. "And by the way, if I were you, I'd stay off the roads from 10:00 am until 5:00 pm."

"Why?"

"Because that's the only time she's aloud out driving, and the roads have gotten extremely dangerous since the tenth of May." I laughed loudly, the first real laugh I've had in a long time. It felt good, really good. River grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Braison, the girl didn't have her license for five hours and she rammed into someone in the parking lot of a gas station in Forks!" **(A/N one of my cousins actually did this! She gave a fender bender to a parked car in the Wal-Mart parking lot five hours after she got her license. Lol, right? ****) **All three of us laughed at this, a long, throaty laugh.

"Are you joking?" I laughed.

Between his cackles, River managed to say, "I'm serious!"

We finally calmed down, and went back to picking grass apart and letting it fall gently into the water below.

"Hey, let's go tell the gang you're back!" exclaimed River, hauling himself out from under the wooden railings and standing up, brushing the dirt off his pants.

I hesitated.

"Get your lazy ass up, Braison! Go with River to meet up with them!" my twin encouraged.

Groaning, I pulled my legs from under the railing and stood up with River, walking across the bridge, our footsteps making loud thumps on the aged wood.

"I can't believe you're finally back!" said Jazlynne for the fifth time since we sat down.

I smiled at her, biting into my chicken sandwich, one of many prepared for us by Teena Powell, Jazlynne's mother. We were sitting on the grass in Jazlynne's backyard, eating chicken sandwiches and chocolate cake while drinking cans upon cans of Diet Coke and Sprite.

I had always like Jazlynne's house. It wasn't in La Push, but on the highway a hundred meters away from the entrance to La Push. You had to talk into some kind of microphone at the gate to ask permission to get in, and when you crossed the threshold, you were in a whole other world. Outside the gates, it's loud, smelly, and a little dangerous; but when you're inside, it's beautiful. A paved road lined with trees led to the elegant, three storey house in the middle of the property, with a fountain out front and a four car garage attached to the left side of the house. In the back of the house there's a large pool with a fence blocking it out from the rest of the world, a roofed patio you have to walk through to get to the pool, and way out back (so far out back that you couldn't see them from the main house) were four sheds, filled with different supplies for tending the house, and two barn sized houses where the help (maids and gardeners) lived. Inside, the house looked like a castle: a grand marble staircase led upstairs, spacious rooms, and elegant furniture that, according to Jazlynne, had been there since the house as built back in 1936 and they had to get polished and cleaned every ten years. A seven foot tall stone wall ran around the land, boxing everything in.

But my favourite part the property had always been the large backyard it had. Between the house and the sheds, there were more than ten football fields of cleared out, grassy land just begging to be rolled around on. There was this huge oak tree that Jazlynne's grandfather had planted with his dad (Jazlynne's great-grandfather) when he was only five, making it over eighty-five years old. We used to hang tire swings from the lowest branch (six feet from the ground) and take turns swinging on it, or we'd play this game, where we had to tie a rope to that same branch and hang onto it as long as we could while the other ones pushed us; the one who hung on the longest won (Luke usually let go first, and Brayton normally won. Though Mason won once, and I did twice, I think).

There were some pretty fun memories made in this yard. Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked over at my twin brother, who was watching Drew and Luke fight over the last chicken sandwich and laughing at them. I would never make more memories with Brayton here, because he was gone forever. Sure, he was tangible, but only to be. No one else could see him, not Mason or Jazlynne, or Luke, Drew or River, nor anyone else. A single tear leaked from my eye, and I quickly wiped it away, but Brayton had seen.

With a sympathetic face, Brayton got up and sat beside me, saying, "Tell them you're gonna go take a whiz in the woods."

I got up off the grass, and turned to leave, yelling behind me, "I've gotta take a whiz, be back in a minute."

"Run," declared Brayton.

I did.

Oh, did I ever run. My legs moved faster than I ever realized possible, and slowed down when I hit the boundaries of the forest. I turned left so that I wouldn't be going towards the sheds and the barns, but towards the fence.

Voices echoed in my head.

"Hey, twins, come here!" obviously River.

"Don't eat that!" a younger Drew.

"Ha-ha, I won, and you didn't!" Brayton's happy chant when he won at the rope game.

"Race ya!" this voice could have been mine or Luke's.

The echoes got jumbled together, until I could no longer distinguish who owned which voice.

"Let's play road hockey!"

I collapsed.

"Tag, you're it!"

Tried to get up, but couldn't

". . . Nine . . . ten! Ready or not, here I come!"

Fell back down again.

"Let me off this thing!"

Curled up into a ball.

"What'd you get for Christmas?"

Shutting my eyes tightly.

"Braison, you okay?" Not a memory.

Tears leaking from my eye lids.

"Trick or treat!"

Being lifted off of the ground.

"Come find us, Jazlynne!"

More tears leaking from my eyes.

"Wanna come over my house?"

A hard pinch to my side.

"Wanna go swimming?"

My torso being shaked

"We're going to Forks – wanna come?"

Being shaked more violently, then "Braison!"

"Are you, ready.*clap, clap, clap* For concentration.*clap, clap, clap* Not repeats. *clap, clap, clap* Or hesitation."

Getting lightheaded.

"Ring around the rosy, a pocket pull of posies, ashes ashes, we all fall down!"

Dark sports appearing in my vision.

"I got 100 on my spelling test!"

Then, there was nothing. My vision went completely black, and I was floating for a few minutes, until I finally blacked out.

**Hope you like it, if you didn't, that's okay. Sorry if it isn't that good, but I started writing I at 3:27 am and finished it at 4:31 am, and I get really . . . weird when I'm up that late. I start to laugh, and talk to myself and (shivers) its horrible! Oh my God, it's so horrible! I was smiling, then started laughing loudly, patting my cat, then started to talking to it, telling it to take over the world with my dog. Yeah. That ccccrrraaazzzyyyy! **


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